Alistair Darling is in his office his feet up on his desk, he is wearing the loudest pair of socks in the world. Gordon Brown walks in. Darling has a large cake on his desk and a knife in his hand.
GB: Alistair, have you got a mo?
AD: Would you like a slice of this cake Gordon?
GB: Christ. What the f**king hell are those?
Darling stands up puts knife down and pulls up trousers to show off socks.
AD: What do you think?
GB: LSD? Someone must have slipped LSD into my tea.
AD: They're special socks.
GB: For "special" people like you Alistair?
AD: I got them on ebay. These socks are going to help me save the economy.
GB: How the hell are socks going to help with economy?
AD: They're Peter Jones'.
GB: Peter Jones?
AD: Yeah the tall, lanky one on Dragon's Den.
GB: I know who he is.
AD: He's worth a fortune. He's made millions and millions and he did all wearing special socks like this.
GB: Yeah he made it flogging shit like this to twats like you.
AD: I'm hoping his magic rubs off on me.
GB: Maybe he could make you disappear?
AD: And that's not all Gordie. I got this as well!
Darling grabs a fake beard and puts it on.
AD: A real life Richard Branson replica beard! Made with real hair from Sir Richard himself!
GB: Oh God!
AD: Well quite. There's no one more like God than Dickie B. The man's the most successful businessman there has ever been. I can't fail now.
GB: Hang on a minute. I think you just need to go one more step.
AD: What do you suggest Gordon?
Gordon grabs knife and holds it up.
GB: A real life Alan Sugar circumcision! Come Here!
Ends