Haven't written anything for ages. Then I wrote this. I might not write anything for ages again...
INT. A LIVING ROOM - DAY
JUDY sits, reading a magazine.
There is the sound of a GLASS SMASHING from another room.
She looks up, puzzled.
She gets up to investigate.
There is a WHOOSHING noise, and in jumps CAPTAIN MINT, a gaudily-dressed SUPERHERO.
CAPTAIN MINT
I hear you've got a problem.
JUDY
There isn't a problem, It's just a glass smashing in the kitchen. Probably the cat.
CAPTAIN MINT
Yeah, I heard the smash from my Fortress of Infinite Justice, darling. Sounds to me like you've got super-villains.
JUDY
You don't think it was the cat, then?
CAPTAIN MINT
Look, follow me and I'll show you what I mean.
Captain Mint leaves the room, followed by Judy.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
There is a smashed glass on the floor. Enter Captain Mint and Judy. Captain Mint looks round.
CAPTAIN MINT
Yeah, you've got super-villains. Definitely. There's three main signs. Smell that?
They both sniff the air.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
That's the smell of evil, that is. Also, one of them's left droppings down there.
They both look at the floor. We don't see what they see.
JUDY
Ew.
CAPTAIN MINT
Yeah, they don't eat so good. And the third sign is that he's standing over there.
DOKTOR SHADY, super-villain, is standing by a kitchen work top. He is nudging a glass so it gradually nears the edge of the surface.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
Right, you're gonna lose another glass if we don't act fast. Plus if we don't stamp it out, you'll have a whole Brotherhood of Evil nesting behind your fridge, so if you'd just sign here...
He produces a clipboard.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
It just indemnifies me for loss or damage, blah blah blah, and enables me to use the full force of the enhanced meta-human powers and abilities bestowed upon me by mysterious aliens from dimension W. Standard boilerplate, basically.
She signs.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
Lovely. Stand back love.
She does.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
Not so fast, Doktor Shady!
DOKTOR SHADY
Curses, my old nemesis, Captain Mint.
They launch at each other and have a big fight, with lots of super-imposed POWs and KA-THWAKs and WHANKs.
Finally, Captain Mint is victorious. The kitchen is trashed.
JUDY
What have you done to my kitchen?
CAPTAIN MINT
No need to thank me. Just doing my job. Now having seen my mighty powers in action you've probably got the overwhelming urge to kiss me, with tongues and everything. It's perfectly normal but I'm afraid it would be unethical.
He looks at his watch.
CAPTAIN MINT (CONT'D)
Having said that, I do have a spare ten minutes, so...
JUDY
You come in here, trash my kitchen...
Captain Mint cocks his head.
CAPTAIN MINT
Wait... I'm needed.
He runs out of the room.
CUT TO:
INT. A LIVING ROOM IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE - DAY
MANDY has lost her keys.
MANDY
Now where's I put those bloody keys?
Behind her in a corner stands The EVILATOR, another super villain. He has her keys.
END.
