Database
LK (Lorraine Kelly) is interviewing Gordon Brown and Darling, Gordon has a laptop
LK
Hello and welcome to LK today you jobless scratters and today I'm on the blue pills. Discussing the governments new giant database today; we have Gordon Brown and his wife Alistair Darling.
DARLING
We're not married.
GORDON
Shut up darling.
LK
So this new database is it going to be secure? Oh look you've got my file.
LOOKS AT COMPUTER.
To be arrested and shot during operation "New Labour forever."
DARLING
Oops let's look up erm, erm your file Gordon look here's your medical records.
LK
One eyed, paranoid (BEAT) large penis in place of head. Signed Dr David Cameron.
DARLING
Er let's look at your social security record.
LK
It says you're a single mother? Are you defrauding the social Gordon?
GORDON
Not at all look it actually says "Single mother f**king worst prime minister ever."
DARLING
Er David Cameron again how did he get in? He's even given you a drink driving caution.
GORDON
How dare he I don't even drive.
LK
No it says caution he's drunk on power and driving the country into the ground.
DARLING
Well Gordon the database is still secure. I mean you do like power, the country is going down hill and you are something of a mother...
GORDON GRABS DARLING BY THE EAR AND DRAS HIM OFF.
LK
We'll be joining Gordon and Alistair tomorrow for our special on spousal abuse.