Gordon Brown and an aide are alone in his office. The aide is holding a telephone.
Aide : Gordon, It's Alistair Darling's mum on the phone. She wants to speak to you.
Gordon : Oh God what now? Is she going to go on about me bullying him about his eyebrows again?
Aide : No I don't think so.
Gordon picks up phone
Gordon : Hello Mrs Darling.......what? Alistair can't come into work today. ....right. He's snowed in. ...I see...okay thanks for letting me know.
Gordon puts down phone.
Gordon : Hang on a minute.
Aide : What?
Gordon : How the f**k can he be snowed in? He lives above his bloody office for god's sake.
Loud bang at window. Gordon leaps under desk.
Gordon : What the hell was that?
Aide : Snowball Sir.
Gordon crawls out from under desk.
Gordon : I thought old Obama had finally got me.
Aide : Osama Sir.
Gordon : Osama?
Aide: You said Obama, I think you meant Osama.
Gordon : (looking confused) No.
Aide :Looks even more confused) right.
Gordon: Who is it out there chucking snowballs?
Aide looks out of the window.
Aide : Seems to be Mr Darling sir.
Gordon : The skiving little bastard. Doesn't he know what a bad example this is setting?
Sounds of whopping and general merry making.
Gordon : Who the hell else is out there?
Aide : Harriet, Jacqui, Alan Johnson, Jack straw, most of the cabinet sir.
Gordon : The bastards. They never invite me to play.
Gordon walks over the window and shakes head.
Aide : How sweet! Peter Mandleson is making a snow angel.
Gordon : I bet it's more like a fairy.
Aide : Look the Milliband boys have made a snowman.
Gordon : It's not very good is it? Mishapen and bent.
Aide : It looks like a bit like a snow cock.
Gordon ; Yeap your right. They've f**king well made a giant snow penis in bloody Downing Street.
Aide : Bless them. They're giving it a name by putting a sign on it.
Gordon : I haven't got my glasses. What does it say?
Aide : Ah....Well.
Gordon looks crestfallen as clearly the sign says Gordon.
Gordon : C**ts. Soon put a stop to this. Get me a f**king hairdryer!