2nd attempt at a song in the NR/TS style by Badge

Okay, here goes. It's topical, but for how long? That might explain why my tenses have going to shit.

I see it as a duet between a curmudgeonly husband (plain text) and an optimistic wife (bold text), with a bit of theatricals on the side where they alternately barge in and interrupt each other, seizing centre stage.

But your feedback is appreciated, as ever.

NB - I am optimistic you know the song (an obvious one for this topic), but I've missed out the shitty middle bit and I hope you don't notice.

There's no Business like Snow Business

There's no business
Like snow business
The worst for twenty years

Everything about it was appalling
Made our country out to be a hole
For every OAP at risk of falling
Were thousands calling
For heads to roll

There's no transport
Like snow transport
(No, really, there was none)

They didn't even cancel buses in the blitz
This country is the pits
What a load of shits
But it doesn't snow too often when you think of it
It's not such a big show!

There's no people
Like those people
Who failed to do their jobs

It doesn't look too good from where I'm sitting
Politicians pushing blame about
All the councils said that they were gritting
They were bullshitting
Let's kick 'em out

There's no snowmen
Like those snowmen
I saw in our own street

Families outside playing having snowball fights
Small faces came alight
We had fun all night
That doesn't seem to me to be a load of shite
Relax, and let it show
We can all enjoy snow!

Very neat, very nice, and funny. I like it. And top choice of song. Upbeat, simple and rhythm good for your gags.

Send it

Seems good topical funny and a nice rhythmn, but as ever I am rubbisha t songs.
Badge you seem to be finding quite the musical voice.

Very good, also quite ironic that someone called Flood is good at writing songs about hazardous weather conditions. Not ironic at all but there you go.

Send it quick.

Thank you all, I will heed the advice on sending.

Hey Badge

The verses are good and, I must apologise, it's missing something only cos I can't for the life of me get the tune of the verses in my head!

However, if you're doing it as a duet, I'm a bit concerned that we're waiting too long for the wife to get involved. If you're going to do it as a pessimist/optimist, I'd have thought an 'argument' between them, alternating lines would be a better structure, with perhaps them both agreeing in the final verse. The verse where they are both involved is more what I think would work all the way through.

I know by saying that I'm being a complete f**ker, cos I've just tried to write a song for them too (complete unrelated to this btw) and it's the most ludicrously difficult and time-consuming thing to get right. So, I'm sorry (because it is *very* good) -- I just think structurally you've missed a trick

Dan

I'm with Dan on this one. Good stuff, and would be better if the duelling started earlier.

Ponderer and Dan - thanks, and I agree with you. In my haste to get the words together (and realising they were contradicatory coming from one character) I rushed into a his-and-hers set up without working out the best potential for it. It should definitely have more of a combative to-and-fro. Next time!