Wildcats

1

NEWS PRESENTER ADRESSING CAMERA.

NEWS PRESENTER

It's day 4 of the shock wild cat strikes by oil workers, some people are calling this the new winter of discontent. Excuse me sir are you a striking oil worker?

MAN

No I'm Lord Hugh G Payoff you oik, the House of Lords is on strike.

NEWS

What? But why?

MAN

Because this fascist government is determined to take away our tradiitonal rights of; napping in the morning, napping in the afternoon and recieving huge bribes for sabotaging government legislation.

ANOTHER MAN WALKS ON.

Er you're lordship here's a big envelope full of money to ask questions.

LORD

Piss off I'm on strike you horrible little commoner. Hands off our private members bills!

2

AN NEWS PRESENTER IS SPEAKING DIRECT TO CAMERA.

NEWS

And hopefully this time we're at the right wild cat strike. Excuse me sir are you a strikin oil worker?

PRINCE CHARLES
No I am blasted not you oik, I'm Prince Charles.

NEWS
Oh good grief. I beg your pardon why are you on strike?

PRINCE CHARLES
Equal rights for moronic royals! Free coffee enemas on the NHS!

NEWS
Why are you really on strike?

PRINCE CHARLES
Well it's not fair I've goto wait for some one to die before I can be king. Talk about dead mum's shoes, I mean dead man's shoes.

NEWS
Are you not worried your vital national role; flying around in a helicopter, patronising poor people and complaining about architecture could be done by foregin workers?

PRINCE CHARLES
Stuff and nonsence where'd they find high enough claiber foreigner?

THE QUEEN
I'm German you snivelling little shit.

PRINCE
And I'm Greek you little bastard and here's some one who wants a word. He's not very happy about you claiming he was your friend.

SOOTY SQUEAKS FOLLOWED BY THE SOUND OF HIM GIVING CHARLES A THOROUGH THRASHING WITH HIS WAND.

If that doesn't bring the government crashing down, I don't know what will

I liked it. I have a feeling the peer ought to die in the end, but I think that's more of a general observation than specifically related to the sketch.

What does one want?
No limitation to the unfettered influence of an already privileged minority. When does one want it?
Surely it is impossible to place a temporal limit on the advent of an event which has been ongoing for over a hundred years.

Fired up some republican spirit eh? That truly is a compliment.

Yeah. I'm not sure it needs all that much riling but I can remember when this shit was only pulled by Tories. This must be about the only blow for equal opportunities struck by New Labour.

I thought this thread was about the basketball team in HSM.

Oh well. *wanders off*

Ok the term wildcat strike was there way before either of your examples.
I'm calling my next sketch The Gordon Brown fan club.
No danger of anyone using that first.

You truly are my nemesis! Ok next sketch The Maggie Thatcher Germaine Greer lesbian porn skit.

I quite like that Sooty. Short and sharp. Nice.