A lads weekend.

Sorry if i am Boring you all with these. However tough titty. I am a bombarding you all anyhoo.

Husband & Wife in Bed.

HUBS
Ummmmm, Errrrrrrr, The Lads have asked if i fancy a weekend away with them luv.

WIFE
Hmmmm! Depends where it is. There are certain places you are not going too.

HUBS
Like?

WIFE
Amsterdam for one. I know all about mens weekends in Amster filthy Dam. Also it depends on when they are going, we have plans.

HUBS
Plans????If you dont want me to go, just say. I will ring the lads and tell them that my wife is the only wife that wont let me go.

WIFE
I didnt say you cant go. I am asking where and when.

HUBS
Theres no point. I am not allowed.

WIFE
WHERE & WHEN

HUBS
Holland next month.

WIFE
They ARE going to Amster dirty filthy Dam.

HUBS
Ummmmmmm Errrrrrrr! No Eindhoven.

WIFE *deep breath*
LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON..You are not going to Amster porno Dam with anyone other than me, and we are busy every day next month anyhoo. The only reason the lads want to go there is beer, prosies & drugs. Why would a happily married family man even consider going there. Now i will have to lay awake at nights wondering if you have been crawling kerbs before coming home.I am ringing the wives tomorrow and informing them of their husbands intention. Trust me, no lads will be going to Holland.
Why would you want to go there. I cant believe it. You are an old perv. I am disgusted. You are never touching me again until i have had you tested. Kerb crawler, prosie picker,tute taster.

HUBS
There is more to Holland than you give it credit for. We were going to bring you all back clogs and tulips.

WIFE
Chlamydia and Aids you mean.
Are you a rubber, pvc freak or something. You obviously have some sort of pervy little secret, thats why you need to visit prostitutes.

HUBS
I dont visit prostitutes

WIFE
Eeeeeeeeeew, you dont like to dress as a girl and be done with a strap on do you. Is that why you go to them.

HUBS
I DONT GO TO PROSTITUTES.

WIFE
I cant believe it, all this time i have known you, and you were a transvestite all along. I need to consult with our mothers.

HUBS
I am not a transvestite. All i wanted was a weekend with the guys.

WIFE
OMG! Your gayo. You are a gay, rubber wearing, prosie poking tranny.What if you are in a car crash and your dressed as a woman. The hospital will ring, one of the kids will answer. HOSPITAL...... I am sorry to inform you that Mrs smith have been in a fatal accident.
The kids will think its me. They will be devastated.Then after the relief of finding out it's you. they will realise daddy was a perv. I am going to have to tell everyone what you are so there is no shock should that happen.

HUBS

Is that a NO then.

Charley - it's like you have captured my whole life within a series of sketches.
Loved the Clogs and Tulips followed by Chlamydia and AIDS bit - very funny. On a purely sketch point of view maybe slightly over-written but I love the whole idea behind these sketches - both sexes can really relate to it I think and the fact that a woman is coming up with them tells us a lot about the 'fairer!!!' sex.
Andy W

Your best yet, for me, mainly because you run further with this one than in your others; instead of just asking if he likes rubber etc, she goes on to assume he does and you run with that which works brilliantly.

Last line is maybe a tad predictable, however.

Charley, you have a great way of twisting your stuff to arrive at the comic unexpected! Interesting you picked on Eindhoven, my favorite Dutch town, spent months there in the past doing (uhm) stuff!!!
When you gonna write us a SitCom then?!? You got it in there somewhere!

This seems ssssooooo familiar. Are all wives programmed like this?

proof if it was ever neded that women are infact quite mad and live in a totally seperate universe to men Charley Luv I thought it was brill ...Good god I've gone all luvvie I will go into the shed and take a mallet to my head until I return to business as usual