Regarding being divorced:
It was half her fault for her nagging, being such a slob around the house and sleeping with other men...and half my fault for marrying the insane bitch in the first place.
Joke Formulas - Number Three - The Reverse Page 2
I went speed dating and loads of women wrote my name down, sadly it was a petition and I'm not allowed back.
I want to try internet dating, but I don't find computers attactive.
I signed up to do a DIY course, turned up and there was an empty classroom.
I'm a Gulf War vet. Didn't see much action. There's little room in the theatre of war for pets.
I once failed to overdose. By the 4th aspirin, there was so much froth I couldn't even find the plastic tub.
Dan
My mate's down in the dumps since he lost his job. I can sympathise with him though, I was unemployed once, I still am by the way.
Where I live is rough. I came home one night, and some drunk's having a slash against my front door. I said, "Hey!...What are you doing in my house?"
Quote: Graham Bandage @ January 29 2009, 12:59 PM GMTWhere I live is rough. I came home one night, and some drunk's having a slash against my front door. I said, "Hey!...What are you doing in my house?"
So My boss isn't happy with my work and he says I need to apply logical thinking but I can't find it in the chemists.
I've got a lisp. Terrible handicap for a stand-up. But it doesn't entitle you to a blue badge. It turns out.
My wife caught me with an escort, she said he was handsome.
I tried one of those escort services. 300 quid! But that included an MOT and new brake pads.
Not my own:
I was in the bank the other day and an old lady said 'Young man, can you check my balance?'
So I pushed her over and said 'Yeah, it's shit.'
I've just heard that my Gran suffered a massive seizure this morning. I didn't know she could even LIFT 20kg of Heroin.
So where's today's formula, Griff?
Now you're just making us feel bad.
Have you done it yet?
Quote: Griff @ January 30 2009, 9:31 AM GMTOK fair enough. Today's my deadline to deliver a sample piece of work for a potentially lucrative copywriting gig, and I should be working on it, but I'll drop all that and post another joke thread instead. Watch this space.
As in advertising or comedy copy writing?