British Comedy Guide

Joke Formulas - Number Two - Exaggeration

That Seefacts is so small he has a life sized photo of himself in his passport!

My favourite real-life example was one I actually used. In an actual conversation.

[Sycophant 1] is so far up [Boss]'s backside, he can see [Sycophant 2]'s feet.

Your head's so big, Haley's Comet has started coming around every 75 years...

There's more wooden finishing in your car than there is in Kevin Costner...

Dan

I'll kick your ass so hard that you'll be shitting leather for a fortnight.

Your so stupid Joey Deacon goes urrrrrgghhhh at you.

You're such a chav Kerry Katona would move away from you.

You're so ugly you've got a picture of John McCririck instead of a mirror.

You're spelling so bad, Sootyj's your proof reader.

You're so hated Stott wouldn't defend you if you were a TV show.

You're so ugly the Dr said I've got some good news and some bad news, the bad news is it lived.

You're so unfunny you got a BBC Three sketch show with Corden.

You're more chavvy then a scrunchie on the floor of a Greggs.

You're so stupid you couldn't get into Luton university

You're so ugly only a blind vulture would eat you

Quote: sootyj @ January 28 2009, 10:33 AM GMT

You're so stupid you couldn't get into Luton university

I studied there ya cheeky dog!

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ January 28 2009, 10:34 AM GMT

I studied there ya cheeky dog!

So did I, so quit fooling yourself.

Damn Nigel your so ignorant, you thought the dictionary, was a fairy who polished penises.

You're jokes are so poor they're on benefit.

Your jokes are so weak they're on disability benefit

My school was so rough, the canteen served hospital food

My school was so rough, we had transfer pupils from Texas Deathrow

My pubs so rough, the first question in the quiz is who you looking at?

My banks so broke they installed a toilet to increase deposits

My banks so broke the cash machine asked me for a loan.

My cat so evil it not only kills mice, it films them and sells them as snuff movies

Paul Dacre is so evil he built Richard Littlejohn in his lab from bits of Oswald Mosely

Your so stupid, you could be the village idiot for London

Your so stupid the village idiots union fears you could out a 1000 of them out of a job

Your as useless as a slight decrease in VAT

You're that thick your mental age is a fraction.

Quote: sootyj @ January 28 2009, 10:33 AM GMT

You're so hated Stott wouldn't defend you if you were a TV show.

Unimpressed

My ex-girlfriend's arse was so big I couldn't get in the house even if I wanted to.

That guys face is so big he can pick up Sky TV.

Your feet smell so much, stilton leaves the room.

Dan

This reply is so heavily edited, it doesn't even have a

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