ELLY: No don't tell me, its's Barry, your parents are Anglo Irish, you're a Capricon, favourite colour Blue, favourite author Margaret Drabble, you once stood in a queue for the cinema behind Esther Rantzen, your first girlfriend was called Alison, and you have a birthmark shaped like a swollen strawberry on your upper thigh. You were born in Wigan but moved to Sheffield at age six!
MAN: Que?
[ps how do you do accents on here the grave/acute type I meant not brummie]
Sarah Jessica-Parker's weight and dress sense had taken a turn for the worse recently...
" The modelling was going great until I went down on all fours on the catwalk."
Gerry was still refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
Marwell Zoo's amateur dramatics society were dealt a heavy blow when their Dr DooLittle bruised his toe...
Even in an elephant mask Prince Charles fooled no one.
Nigel knew he'd have to hide the umbrella stand if his date came back for coffee.
"So Mr Smith, I'm all ears."
Our colours clash, tusk, tusk.
When Michelle asked if she could bring her trunk, Tim hadn't really expected this.
Like I told that clown over in accounts, this place is turning into a circus!
"Hi, I'm Ted the new temp from Office Elephants."
GAVIN: Thanks for this Sean, I haven't been out on the green for ages. Where's the clubs?
SEAN: In the trunk...
When Brian volunteered to help with the Zoo's breeding programme this is not what he had in mind.
Rose are red, elephants are blue,
Even though your dress sense is questionable.
I still love you.