It never rains but it does.
Joke Formulas - Number One - Twisted Cliches Page 3
Every dog has his nose up another dog's arse at some point.
Early to bed, early to rise will make you pray for an early demise.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, unless you smear it in glue and push it through a heavily-wooded area.
The early bird usually flies into trees and walls as it's too dark to see properly.
Dan
The coast is clear except around Sellafield.
Life begins at forty, unless you're Princess Diana.
A watched kettle never boils, if you don't turn the f**ker on first.
All that glitters isn't gold. It might be a paedophile.
Never put off tomorrow whom you can put off today.
Don't try to walk if you can crawl.
This is ace; sick jokes, doggerel, anti jokes it's like an all you can eat buffet of jokes.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, unless your chucking an annoying ipod out of a moving bus.
Don't bite off more than you can poo
Instead of going to bed with a terrible cold I just had a coffee. Keeps the mind off the work, though.
Life's not all beer and skittles, it's mince pies and shagging, too.
People who live in glass houses aren't people, they're plants.
The proof of the pudding is in the bowels.
Test tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
Quote: Griff @ January 27 2009, 1:37 PM GMTBe Keith Chegwin, get pissed in leisurewear.
Cheggars plays pop, but he prefers to drink Listerine.
Easier said than Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.