Tips and Tales from an Infrequent Flyer

I'm in the process of writing a travel book which compiles writings and articles from the last 15 years.

In it there will be advice and thoughts on the subject of travel as well as location guides and my experiences from major trips around Great Britain and Ireland. These include my encounter with a drunk Glaswegian Eric Cantona lookalike in Edinburgh, walking the South West Way and arguing with an Italian who'd nicked my bed in a hostel in Dublin.

To add to this I'm going to include a section of my life and times in London. I've never lived there but I've actually had some quite unusual experiences in the place...

I've been to the opening ceremony of Euro96 at Wembley and on the same day watched the Phantom of the Opera in London's West End.

I've taken part in four London Marathons, one involving a training session with Mr Motivator, and also completed a London Duathlon which involved running and cycling 12 miles around Richmond Park.

I attended the Prince's Trust concert celebrating 25 years in music of producer Trevor Horn in the presence of Prince Charles himself. This included a back stage pass to meet 3/5th of the reformed Frankie goes to Hollywood before the event while I also witnessed another ex-member playing a gig with his band at a pub nearby.

I met Formula One driver Rubens Barrichello and nearly met Jackie Stewart at a Stewart Racing Grand Prix publicity event. I've also visited the home of comedy legend Ray Galton and interviewed him with his equally legendary writing partner, Alan Simpson.

I've seen the new year in in London twice, in Trafalgar Square and Parliament square and regularly slept at the nurses home at St Bart's hospital.

Oh, and I've walked barefoot across glowing hot coals at a Tony Robbins seminar.

Other stuff includes playing poker and getting hammered in the World's End pub in Cambden, being confronted by a Fox in Rotherhithe and seeing Phil Jupitus and Patsy Palmer (twice) in the street.

As someone who feels they've not done all that much with their life I think that's an unusual set of occurrences.

Of already written material I have 20,000 words and notes for at least a further 10,000. I'm planning to publish it through lulu.com for my own vanity but wondered if there was enough in there to encourage you to read it.

Quote: Tuumble @ January 26 2009, 10:04 AM GMT

I've regularly slept at the nurses home at St Bart's hospital.

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Are you Dick Stuart-Clark?

Quote: Tuumble @ January 26 2009, 10:04 AM GMT

Other stuff includes playing poker and getting hammered in the World's End pub in Cambden

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Camden*

Quote: Tuumble @ January 26 2009, 10:04 AM GMT

Of already written material I have 20,000 words and notes for at least a further 10,000. I'm planning to publish it through lulu.com for my own vanity but wondered if there was enough in there to encourage you to read it.

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Sounds interesting, but realistically, I'd never get around to reading it.

Quote: Tuumble @ January 26 2009, 10:04 AM GMT

I'm in the process of writing a travel book which compiles writings and articles from the last 15 years.

In it there will be advice and thoughts on the subject of travel as well as location guides and my experiences from major trips around Great Britain and Ireland. These include my encounter with a drunk Glaswegian Eric Cantona lookalike in Edinburgh, walking the South West Way and arguing with an Italian who'd nicked my bed in a hostel in Dublin.

To add to this I'm going to include a section of my life and times in London. I've never lived there but I've actually had some quite unusual experiences in the place...

I've been to the opening ceremony of Euro96 at Wembley and on the same day watched the Phantom of the Opera in London's West End.

I've taken part in four London Marathons, one involving a training session with Mr Motivator, and also completed a London Duathlon which involved running and cycling 12 miles around Richmond Park.

I attended the Prince's Trust concert celebrating 25 years in music of producer Trevor Horn in the presence of Prince Charles himself. This included a back stage pass to meet 3/5th of the reformed Frankie goes to Hollywood before the event while I also witnessed another ex-member playing a gig with his band at a pub nearby.

I met Formula One driver Rubens Barrichello and nearly met Jackie Stewart at a Stewart Racing Grand Prix publicity event. I've also visited the home of comedy legend Ray Galton and interviewed him with his equally legendary writing partner, Alan Simpson.

I've seen the new year in in London twice, in Trafalgar Square and Parliament square and regularly slept at the nurses home at St Bart's hospital.

Oh, and I've walked barefoot across glowing hot coals at a Tony Robbins seminar.

Other stuff includes playing poker and getting hammered in the World's End pub in Cambden, being confronted by a Fox in Rotherhithe and seeing Phil Jupitus and Patsy Palmer (twice) in the street.

As someone who feels they've not done all that much with their life I think that's an unusual set of occurrences.

Of already written material I have 20,000 words and notes for at least a further 10,000. I'm planning to publish it through lulu.com for my own vanity but wondered if there was enough in there to encourage you to read it.

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It sounds interesting read. I would ask on a forum where the majority actually go outside except to the occasional food or fag shop.

If you do it on lulu I will buy it.

Is this a new sarcastic side we're seeing to Dr Mato?
Book sounds interesting.

Quote: Dr Mato @ January 26 2009, 1:00 PM GMT

fag shop.

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I some times question your Canadian citizenship when you use terms like Fag in their proper term.

Quote: Curt @ January 26 2009, 1:02 PM GMT

I some times question your Canadian citizenship when you use terms like Fag in their proper term.

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What should I call them smokes?

Quote: Dr Mato @ January 26 2009, 1:03 PM GMT

What should I call them smokes?

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There we go! Don't be afraid, throw an 'eh' in there.

Quote: Curt @ January 26 2009, 1:04 PM GMT

There we go! Don't be afraid, throw an 'eh' in there.

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On this site they call em fags.

It's all good I do the same thing. I call Soccer Football so I don't get yelled at all the times.
Let's try this again

It sounds like a smart read eh. I'd ask on the forum there, where the bunch'of'em actually go outside 'cept to the occasional food'er smoke shop eh.

If yea do it on the lulu I'll be sure ta buy buy it.
There yea go buddy!

Quote: Curt @ January 26 2009, 1:08 PM GMT

It's all good I do the same thing. I call Soccer Football so I don't get yelled at all the times.
Let's try this again

It sounds like a smart read eh. I'd ask on the forum there, where the bunch'of'em actually go outside 'cept to the occasional food'er smoke shop eh.

If yea do it on the lulu I'll be sure ta buy buy it.
There yea go buddy!

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I have a publisher that is trying to get me to write proper. I am trying very hard to do that. Now you come along and want me to be sloppy again. Can not win!!!

It's the Canadian way my friend. Or you can go join the CBC and their 'proper English' broadcasts. We'll...that is if you ignore their Newfoundland correspondence. "EH DARE BOY'O IT AD BE A NICER T'DAY DEN A COD DRESSED IN'MOY MODDER'S WEDD'N DRESS!"
GAH! Someone get Colleen Jones off air!

I think there may well be a lot of people of a certain age who could come up with similar interesting experiences - meeting celebs for instance is not all that unusual, particularly when in the West End. Nor is meeting sportsmen if you attend sporting events. As for sleeping in the Nurses Home at Barts - so has someone I know (I spend a lot of time there) but I am not sure that is of interest to other people.

If a celebrity was writing such a book, the public would be interested to know about the places they have travelled to and who they met, but would they be interested in an unknown? Perhaps it depends on how informative and interesting the travel part of the book is and your style of writing - will they be able to use it as a guide? Will the anecdotes get in the way or enhance?

It could be that you have hit upon a quirky and original way to present a travel book - how about approaching some Agents and Publishers for feedback before you part with any money?

Good luck with it.

Quote: Curt @ January 26 2009, 1:16 PM GMT

It's the Canadian way my friend. Or you can go join the CBC and their 'proper English' broadcasts. We'll...that is if you ignore their Newfoundland correspondence. "EH DARE BOY'O IT AD BE A NICER T'DAY DEN A COD DRESSED IN'MOY MODDER'S WEDD'N DRESS!"
GAH! Someone get Colleen Jones off air!

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Lie massively and if the book sells, make double bubble apologising for lying in the first place.

Sootyj's dishonest biography would include.

1 Ross, Brand and Sachs were in a naked jaccuzi with me when the phone call was made.

2 I invented velcro and gayness.

3 I gave John Wayne Cancer.

4 I met God in a wine bar and he tried to sell me coke.

5 I built Gok Wang out of abbatoir leavings.

Just in case anyone is interested I knocked Michal Aspel into the road once in Esher. He was charging round the corner and ran smack bang into me. He is a small chap and I as you may guess am quite a big chap. He bounced into the road - which was nice.

Oh and I kept elbowing Lulu in the face when she was talking to old Elton John's fella. Neither of them complained!

And finally I had my picture taken with Ian Botham and he is not as big as you might think - he only came up to my shoulder!

If anyone gives a f**k!