British Comedy Guide

Afternoon Swim

EXT.SWIMMING BATHS

The sketch starts with MAN walking into a changing room cubicle and drawing the curtains. The curtains open again as soon as they are closed

MAN is standing there changed (but you only see the top half of him, he's got no cloths on his top half)

MAN takes a big breath in then exhales with a smile on his face

MAN starts walking towards the pool entrance

There are some teenage boys standing near the entrance and they start laughing at MAN

MAN:
IT'S WHAT YE DO WITH IT THAT COUNTS (pause) IT'S NOT ABOUT SIZE

But the boys just start laughing harder

MAN walks towards the entrance and as he gets there and an OLD MAN walks through the entrance coming from the pool

OLD MAN looks down at MAN lower half, pulls his glasses to the end of his nose

OLD MAN:
MMMM…I THINK WE MIGHT GET ALONG

MAN shakes his head, confused.

MAN walks out to the pool, just as a WOMEN and her daughter are getting out

WOMEN:
GOOD AFTERNOON

But then WOMEN looks down at the mans lower half and has a shocked and then disgusted look on her face, then covers her daughters eyes

WOMEN:
PERVERT

MAN is just standing there with a confused look on his face

The camera pans down and on his shorts there's the word 'PEEDO', with a vague outline of an 'S' just before the P.

END

Ok, this is another peado sketch (i think I'm becoming obsessed with them, sorry). I also can't take credit for the punchline, as it was part of a joke that someone told me (is this cheating?). I know theres no other jokes in here apart from the punchline, but I was hoping that was good enough. Again any comments are more than welcome.

Hi,

Nice idea, perhaps a bit too long in getting to the punch line. It could work as a quicky.

We see the guy bundled out of the swimming baths by security, clothes thrown after him. he looks down puzzled, cut the missing s on his shorts.

Less is more?

John

Purple Comedy

http://standupcomedy.podomatic.com/

I agree with John Burns - keep it short and simple. Whatever you do, you've definitely got to get rid of the old man character, because that takes it into a very dark area indeed. The moment you include a real paedo in a sketch which is really about a misunderstanding you are on dodgy ground.

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