This is the start of the Second episode of a sit com that is set in a Bowls Club.
Would appreciate comments please
It is basically one long scene where characters come in and out and the plot develops. (Think Smoking Room)
Brief character run-down
PERCY: Barman, 70's
REG: Always propping up the Bar, 70's
TED: Greenkeeper, Late 50's
DOUG: Painter and Decorator, 30's
AUDREY: Ladies Captain, 40's
SUE: Late 30's, overweight, loud but not offensive
PERCY AND REG ARE AT THE BAR. TED IS AT ONE OF THE TABLES WITH A FERTILIZING KIT SPREAD ALL OVER IT. THERE ARE BOTTLES, CAPS, FUNNELS AND A BIG BACK PACK WITH A SPRAY HANDLE. HE IS READING THE INSTRUCTIONS AND LOOKS CONFUSED. DOUG WALKS IN, COVERED IN PAINT AS USUAL
DOUG:
Evening all, Pint of Best please Percy. Ted?
OFFERING TED A DRINK
TED:
What?
LOOKS UP, CLEARLY DISTRACTED AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT DOUG WANTS
DOUG:
Drink?
TED:
Sorry Doug. I'll get these. Couldn't give me a hand with this could you.
TED POINTS TO THE OBJECTS ON THE TABLE AS HE GETS UP AND MAKES HIS WAY TO THE BAR. DOUG SITS DOWN AND UNFOLDS THE INSTRUCTIONS
DOUG:
I'll have a look, but I'm no expert
REG:
What is it Doug, something to do with decorating?
DOUG:
It's a fertilizing kit!
TED:
And I can't read the instructions properly
PERCY:
Forgot your contacts again?
TED:
No, I spilt the fertilizer
DOUG:
It's all a blur Ted. I can't make this out any better than you
TED MAKES HIS WAY BACK WITH BOTH DRINKS AND SETTLES DOWN NEXT TO DOUG
TED:
Ah, but you must mix things up every day. Paint, Grout, Turps
REG:
Quotes, Invoices, VAT Returns
DOUG:
But every mix is different. (IGNORING REG) I would be making it up
REG:
like the Quotes, Invoices, VAT Returns
DOUG:
I think you should leave it for now Ted
TED:
I can't. We have a big tournament here next week and the green needs to be up to standard.
PERCY:
So it's ok to be sub-standard for us then
TED:
Look, Audrey has insisted on it
PERCY:
Just because her friends from the County are coming here to play! I've been asking for a new ice bucket for months and she's always said no. I think it stinks
TED:
I'm sure it's not just because they are her friends
PERCY:
I'm talking about the ice bucket!
DOUG:
Well most of the stuff I mix is 2 to 1. There is a litre of Fertilizer, so lets try two litres of water. Percy, fill the ice bucket up for me
PERCY EMPTIES THE ICE OUT OF THE BUCKET AND FILLS IT UP WITH WATER AND CARRIES IT ROUND TO DOUG AND TED. DOUG ADDS IN THE FERTILIZER JUST AS SUE ENTERS
SUE:
No wonder that ice bucket always stinks. Percy, my usual please
PERCY:
What is it this time?
SUE: CONTINUED
Bailey's and Lemonade. No ice. (LOOKING AT THE ICE BUCKET) So, what's all this for then?
TED:
Getting the green up to scratch for next week!
SUE:
That reminds me
SUE REACHES INTO HER BAG AND PULLS OUT A PIECE OF PAPER
SUE: CONTINUED
I've got that quote Audrey was asking for
DOUG:
Quote?
REG:
It's when you price up a job
SUE:
Audrey wants to get some Outside Caterers. They're French
PERCY:
What about Vic and Freda
SUE:
Scottish I think?
PERCY:
They normally do the food!
SUE:
I think Audrey is looking for a little more than Beef Stew and a Fruit Flan
REG:
So what are they offering
SUE LOOKS AT THE QUOTE
SUE:
Beef Bourguignon for the main course and Apple Tarte Tatin for dessert
PERCY:
Let's have a look at that!
SUE PASSES THE QUOTE TO PERCY WHO STUDIES IT FOR A MOMENT
PERCY:
Unbelievable! They've charged £60 for the bloody Van!
SUE LOOKS CONFUSED AND SNATCHES THE QUOTE BACK
SUE:
That's the wine Percy