British Comedy Guide

Toilet Humour

TWO TOILET CUBICLES HAVING A CHAT.

A:
Not much action today mate?

B:
Nah, all quiet on the western front. I've had that shy urinater in again today and that's it.

A:
He always seems to pick you. (PAUSE) What's the deal with him anyway, micropenis?

B:
I can't see it so I presume so. And I'll tell you another thing, he sits down to pee.

A:
Sits down to pee? That blokes got gender issues, I tell you.

B:
Nothing surprises me these days, bloody weirdos everywhere. Funny enough, he always seems to read Bella.

A:
A bloke reading Bella, who sits down to pee, you can't see his dick and who doesn't shit.

B:
It has to be a woman, has to.

A:
Screw him or her, I'm bloody starving.

FX DOOR OPENING.

B:
Wahey, who's it going to be? I'm six-four up for the week.

A:
Six-five mate, he's coming here. (SHOUTING) Feed me! Feed me!

FX FART FOLLOWED BY SPLASH.

A: (munching noises)
Now, that's just what the doctor ordered. A little something to wash it down with…

FX URINATING.

A:
Aaah!

B:
I'm licking my lips just listening to you mate.

FX CLICK OF LIGHTER.

A:
The git's smoking, I'll get on to Health and Safety.

B:
Disgusting, no other word for it.

A:
Bastard, he's put the fag out in my bowl.

B:
Well, really, ruining a good meal like that.

FX DOOR OPENING

A: (shouting)
Oi! Oi! Flush the bleeding chain, I'll get indigestion.

B:
Mate, don't speak with your mouth full.

I like the idea of talking toilets. Eating poo and wee made cringe.

Image

Great idea but as WJFK said it's going to be hard or even impossible getting the balance right between gags and gagging.
:)
But liked it, I did.

Very original and good eye, especially the disgusted by fags but not by poo bit.
How ever it may be a little to gross for some at the moment.

What the others have said really. Well done piece but a bit squirmy on the subject matter perhaps for a broad multi-media appeal.

Saw it as an animation or maybe a comic-strip. What about sending it off to Viz?

Gets the thumbs up from me!

Quote: Blenkinsop @ January 18 2009, 6:05 PM GMT

What the others have said really. Well done piece but a bit squirmy on the subject matter perhaps for a broad multi-media appeal.

Saw it as an animation or maybe a comic-strip. What about sending it off to Viz?

I may just do that, cheers.

Great idea, but it did tickle the barf muscles a bit. V?iz may be a good idea.

Great idea, but it did tickle the barf muscles a bit. V?iz may be a good idea.

I think if you made the fag thing the punchline then you could get all the laughs and cut down on the gag factor a little?

Quote: sootyj @ January 19 2009, 1:01 AM GMT

I think if you made the fag thing the punchline then you could get all the laughs and cut down on the gag factor a little?

Gag Factor has to be a good name for a comedy show, no? Or Gag Reflex? Avtually it sounds more likea comedy night at the YMCA. Forget I mentioned it.

God I'm drunk.

It was a late night game show on Bravo featuring Boy George, Julian Clairie and the ghost of Clara Bow. In addition to a couple of dozen very strong silk scarves.
The worrying thing is I'm stone cold sober.

I found this video on YouTube you may like. sort of toilet Humour

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKI4MyWVcwk

Quote: David Dawson @ February 21 2011, 1:17 PM GMT

I found this video on YouTube you may like. sort of toilet Humour

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKI4MyWVcwk

Steady on now, one minute you found it, the next minute you made it - which is it to be? Did you perhaps make it then get drunk to the point that you forgot you made it?

Yeah maybe, you not feeling the vibes then?

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