British Comedy Guide

Job swop.

BOB, JANE AND CHRIS ARE IN A QUEUE AT A DOLE OFFICE.

JANE

Hello Bob fancy seeing you signing on again, I thought you had a cushty job?

BOB

Too bloody right, it was Jaquie Smith's idea all government bodies should help equality.

JANE

Oh and what were you traffic warden? Health and safety officer?

BOB

Nope I was chancellor of the exchequer.

CHRIS

Get away that's quite a step up in the world.

JANE

For a bailif better known for providing his own pit bull and baseball bat.

BOB

You'd have thought so, but I persuaded the main banks to start loaning each other money.

JANE

How'd you do that then? Lower interest rates?

CHRIS

Pump billions back into the economy?

BOB

Nah I broke the head of Barclays nose and shit on Mervyn Kings carpet did the job a treat. Any way Chris heard you had a cushty governemnt job?

CHRIS

Same as you Bob I was foreign secretary.

BOB

Sounds like a lot of work for a lazy bastard like you.

CHRIS

You'd think so. But I did the usual had a tommy tank over LK today played Gears of War and had a nap.

JANE

And they sacked you for thaT?

CHRIS

Nah in the same period of time Milliband got us into two wars and broke the UN charter on human rights 3 times.

JANE

Well I was home secretary I legalised marijuana and made it a mandatory sentence of 5 years for carrying a knife. I got sacked for doing to good a job and making the government look crap.

BOB

Me to. Oh and I punched Prince Charles for calling me Sooty.

CHRIS

Yeh same as me, what happened to Jock?

JANE

Jock?

CHRIS

Yeh the one eyed, suicidal Scots bloke who can't count.

BOB

Oh Gordon, God I hope they haven't got him doing anything important.

Cracking punchline there!

Nice one.

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