British Comedy Guide

Adolf Outrage

A typical middle class household at breakfast time, wife is preparing breakfast and husband is reading the paper.

Man : Good God.

Woman : Derek! Blasphemy!

Man : Sorry Gertie. I just can't believe this story.

Woman : What is it?

Man : A child has been taken into care in America. Guess why?

Woman : I have no idea.

Man : Go on guess.

Woman : Well I would think it was something......you know...sexual.

Man : No. Guess again.

Woman : Oh Derek. I have no time for games. I've got to get the soiling out of your underpants in a minute. Tell me.

Man: It was his name.

Woman : His name?

Man : Yeap he was called Adolf Hitler.

Crosses herself.

Woman : Holy Mother of God.

Man: Poor little bastard.

Woman : Derek! I will not have language in this house.

Man: Sorry Gertie, but I mean? Fancy naming a child after that swine.

Woman : Derek!

Man: Father died fighting against that fascist c**t!

Woman rips paper out of hands and slaps him round the head.

Woman : Derek, I will not. I repeat, will not have such foul language in my home.

Man: Sorry Gertie, but things like that make my blood boil.

Woman : It's understandable Derek. Now you seem to be calmer. Please call the children for their breakfast.

Man stands.

Man: Samantha! Breakfast time. And wake up Pol Pot on the way down will you.

Nice idea - punch line needs to be slicker though, I reckon.

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