£90 million to spare.

Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling are sat at a table going over some papers.

AD: And then by cutting Nurses pay by 2% and adding that to the other changes we get a saving of some £90million. Money that can be invested elsewhere.

GB: Well Darling. For once I have to hand it to you. Not bad. Not bad at all.

AD: (Bristling with pride) Thank you Prime Minister.

GB: Now where can we put that money to use? Kick start the economy? Old People? Compensation for injured troops? Or MP's Pensions? (PAUSE) MP Pensions! Good idea, even if I do say so myself.

AD: Umm....Prime Minister. I've got something to tell you.

GB: What?

AD: Promise you won't shout?

GB: When do I ever shout at you Darling?

AD: Well, always being one step ahead. I've actually already spent the money.

GB: YOU FUCKING PILLOCK DARLING WHAT ON?

AD: You said you wouldn't shout.

GB: Sorry Alistair, it's the stress. Go on tell me what you spent it on.

AD: A football player.

GB: FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?

AD: Gordon you're shouting again.

GB: You better explain and explain bloody quick.

AD: Well I rang up AC Milan and bought their star player Kaka.

GB: Kaka? What the hell do we do with Kaka?

AD: We sell him Prime Minister!

GB: Sell him? You've just wasted £90million on him.

AD: Well that's the clever part.

GB: It had better be f**king ingenious Darling.

AD: The Arabs.

GB: The Arabs? I think I'm getting lost here.

AD: They bought Manchester City. They are the richest club in the world Now I can offload our friend Kaka straight away to that daft welsh manager.

GB: How much?

AD: £100 million – that's a clear profit of....of.......9.....no £10million. The deal is already set up.

GB: Not bad. Not bad at all Darling.

AD: Thank you Prime Minister!

GB: Hang on why didn't AC Milan not just take the 100million direct from City?

AD: Well I got on the phone to them direct and I'm proud to say it was my negotiating skills that won the day.

Knock on door.

AD: He's here. He's here. Oh Gordon He's here I confessed I'm a little star struck.

GB: Sit there then I'll get it.

GB opens the door. He stands there shocked.

GB: Darling?

AD: Yes Gordon.

GB: You spoke to the Italians direct?

AD: Yes Gordon.

GB: Well Darling. I think something might have got lost in the translation! Here's Kaka.

Gordon wheels in a wheelbarrow full of shit.

As soon as Kaka was mentioned,I knew there had to be a sh*t joke in there somewhere,other than that well written sketch as per your norm.

Quote: steve @ January 15 2009, 7:17 PM GMT

As soon as Kaka was mentioned,I knew there had to be a sh*t joke in there somewhere,other than that well written sketch as per your norm.

View original

It's been sitting there staring me in the face all day on the bbc news site. It simply had to be done!!

Maybe it had to be done but a fairly obvious poo joke seems a bit of a waste of your not inconsiderable talents.

What about Ally D dressing up A/C Milan kit and hanging round outside Eastlands?

Yeap it was an obvious ending - how is this instead?

Different Ending

Knock on door.

AD: He's here. He's here. Oh Gordon He's here I confessed I'm a little star struck.

GB: Sit there then I'll get it.

GB opens the door. He stands their shocked.

GB: Darling?

AD: Yes Gordon.

GB: You spoke to the Italians direct?

AD : Yes Gordon.

GB: I think something might have got lost in the translation!

AD: Don't tell me they sent us a big bucket of shit as a joke?

GB: No. That might have been useful. I could have burried your head in it.

AD: What's happened.

GB: Your negotiation skills. I take it you wanted Kaka's signature.

AD: Yes.

GB: WELL YOU ARSEHOLE. THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT.

Gordon Holds up a signed picture of Kaka.

AD: We could always put it on ebay?

Yeah, definitely better IMO.