Nah, vodka and red bull mmmmm lovely, back in a hour lol. 
Write a gag/pun to this pic for Greeting Card No2 Page 5
Tell you what Random, lets have some new ones.
[quote name="random" post="348799" date="January 14 2009, 1:13 PM GMT
MAN: Is there good reception in the bedroom?
RECPETIONIST: I shouldn't think so in your case sir.
You think you've got it bad, try being our kitchen staff...
Sorry Mr & Mrs Dursley, we have a strict 'No Mingers' policy.
"Please leave, no uggers... 
Nil beat me to it. Never mind 
Mwahahahaha
I'll just need to take a swipe with your gash card.
Extra large? Your waistline, maybe.
As experienced ramblers, they didn't need a compass to find south.
PLEASE NO MORE CAPTIONS ON THIS PIC.
Again, cut it down somewhat, and big thx to everyone
The short list be:
Yes sir, a twenty pound note should cover it. - Fred Sunshine
I think booking the medium was a little optimistic Mr Jones. – bigfella
If you could just wipe your credit card dry first, I'll scan it. - Little Jersey Devil
It was the 5th trip to the receptionist's desk when Maude suspected Colin's motives of changing rooms again. - Nick Rivers
Which one's Pinky and which one's Perky? - Marc P
"Would you like a wake up call gentlemen?"
"Yes please".
"Okay. You've got a tiny knob and you're a fat bastard." - Lee Henman (would adjust image accordingly or probably speech "would you two like a wake up call?")
See Brian, I told you they came bigger than a medium. – bigfella
I'm very sorry madam but as you can see we don't do extra small. - random
Just gotta get it down to 5 now.
Thanks, as ever to all who have contributed.
As before, I still maybe able to use one or two of the other lines elsewhere, if I do, I'll obviously be in touch. 
Top 5 to be used.
I think booking the medium was a little optimistic Mr Jones. – bigfella
If you could just wipe your credit card dry first, I'll scan it. - Little Jersey Devil
"Would you two like a wake up call?"
"Yes please".
"Okay. You've got a tiny knob and you're a fat bastard." - Lee Henman
See Brian, I told you they came bigger than a medium. – bigfella
I'm very sorry madam but as you can see we don't do extra small. - random
Again, so damn hard to choose 
And you were doing so well Random. tut tut.