British Comedy Guide

Write a gag/pun to this pic for Greeting Card No2 Page 3

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"Would you like a wake up call gentlemen?"
"Yes please".
"Okay. You've got a tiny knob and you're a fat bastard."

My God that hooter. I bet you wish you were better at yoga.

Are you finding it a little chilly in here sir?

We do have a dress code for the restaurant so can I recommend a little topiary before dinner madam?

or

I'm sorry sir, there's no discount for not using the trouser press.

or

We're still refurbishing I'm afraid so watch out in the bar. The carpet gets a little bit sticky.

The other guests have requested that you stick to room service this weekend.

Quote: Lee Henman @ January 14 2009, 2:51 PM GMT
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"Would you like a wake up call gentlemen?"
"Yes please".
"Okay. You've got a tiny knob and you're a fat bastard."

That's not fair. You're a pro!

Laughing out loud

But on a technical note I think you wll find the fat bastard is actually supposed to be a woman!

Ma'am if you're going to watch porn I'd like to ask you not to use the exercise bikes in the gym.

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I'm afraid that's actually the xylophone lounge madam.

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HIM: About this wife swapping evening?

RECPETIONIST: Yes sir?

HIM: Any chance I could get a fridge freezer for her?

Quote: Paul Carroll @ January 14 2009, 3:29 PM GMT

"I'm sorry sir, we don't do Extra Small."

sorry,that's my original line :)

Which I'll submit under my name, sorry again.

Our chef specialises in au naturel dining.

We have an underground car park but I must ask that you leave any bare bellies down there.

Could you sign our guestbook, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Quote: random @ January 14 2009, 1:13 PM GMT
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RECEPTIONIST: I don't think I'ver ever seen curlicues like that before.

Oh hi Mr Johnson. Haven't seen you at the V.D clinic in a while. Who's your friend?

Quote: Paul Carroll @ January 14 2009, 3:41 PM GMT

That's fine Random. I'll have another go shortly.

K', mate... great minds... and all that!

:)

The XXL? I keep that in my drawers.

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