Page Three Girl

I've just bashed this out. I'm sure the script could be tighter but I like the premise. Any thoughts?

A BUSY TABLOID NEWSROOM, A HARRIED LOOKING NEWS EDITOR WANDERS OVER TO TALK TO A YOUNG-LOOKING REPORTER AT HIS DESK

NEWS ED: Any luck yet?

JOURNO: Nope, nothing. I've left messages on her phone, emailed, tried writing on her Facebook wall but she's just not getting back to me.

NEWS ED: Shit, we're running out of time here.

JOURNO: I'm sorry, I don't know what else we can do.

NEWS ED: If we don't get her, I think we're going to have to make something up.

JOURNO: I'm not sure I'd be comfortable doing that.

NEWS ED: We might not have much choice to be honest.

SUDDENLY THE PAIR STOP AS A BUSTY BLONDE BOMBSHELL ENTERS THE ROOM AND WALKS OVER TO THE DESK

NEWS ED: Oh thank god.

BLONDIE: Hi guys, sorry I've not got back to you - I was up all night partying with some mediocre footballers. I didn't even know I was going on Page Three today.

NEWS ED: No they moved it forward, but thank God you're here - we need to do your quote.

BLONDIE: Ooh yeh, I love doing these. What's it on today?

REPORTER: We're going to go with the Gaza crisis - any thoughts?

BLONDIE: Oh no, has he gone mental again?

NEWS ED: No my sexy, the Gaza strip in the Middle East!

BLONDIE: Let me think....(THINKS BRIEFLY)....OK well I'd say that it's been terrible reading about all people being killed by Israel's rockets. I think although they've got a right to defend themselves, their ferocious response to Hamas's rockets has been extremely disproportionate to say the least.

REPORTER: That's not going to fit - can you shorten it a bit?

BLONDIE: Ok...how about saying that all the killing has been painful to watch but hopefully Hamas and Israel can find a solution soon.

REPORTER: Yeah, that'll work. Perfect!

NEWS ED: Thank you my lovely - you're a little star.

BLONDIE: You're totally welcome - but just a word of warning.

NEWS ED: Yeah?

BLONDIE: Make sure my boobs look nice, get my age right and if you misquote me, I'll have my lawyers round before you can even say 'Zionist Conspiracy'.

ENDS

I love this idea. I think the start could be a bit more dramatic and overblown - it would give the entrance of the page 3 model more impact. But I think it's a smashin' sketch. Nice one.

Bo.

I like it but I think the opening 7 lines of dialogue could become just 2 or 3 fairly easily and we'd get into the sketch quicker. Then you could probably have more room to play with funny ideas for text to go with the pic, or punning headline ideas.

Thanks for the pointers - much appreciated. Wasn't 100 per cent sure how many people were aware of the mini-quotes they have on Page Three but I guess most people have seen them at some point.

Yeah, was good, I love those little quotes and this was a really good sketch. One suggestion would be to drop the Gazza joke, it's very old and obvious. The rest is great though.

There's a good idea in there but I think you'd be better off making the fact that they're working towards a page 3 quote the punchline.

great idea, but I'd make her reduction from brain box to bimbo more aparent, her first line isn't smart enough.

Cool - thanks for the tips. I'll stick this one in the second-draft waiting list.