I've been writing for a while (and recently had some success getting published) and even more recently got a radio sketch on Radio 4, which was a surreal experience. I thought I'd try to write a sitcom script, to see if I could, and I was hoping for some feedback to see what I can improve and where I've gone wrong.
Any feedback would be much appreciated.
The sitcoms working title is 'Singletons.' Here we go:
SCENE 1 INT.CINEMA FOYER
Martin, late 20s, dressed smart-casual. He waits impatiently in the foyer of a cinema. A large digital clock is set in the wall behind him.
Martin glances at his watch showing, '8.10'. He is doesn't notice his date, JESSICA, approaching. Jessica is an attractive young woman who is slightly drunk.
JESSICA:Am I late?
MARTIN: No, no. I'm just glad you could make it, Jessica.
JESSICA: Martin, I asked if I was late. You were looking at your watch and you seemed pretty unhappy. Now was I late?
MARTIN: Maybe a little. Don't worry about it. We can still make the film. I got the tickets. Who needs to see the first ten minutes? We can work out what's going on.
JESSICA: Because I wasn't late.
MARTIN: Well, we were going to meet at half past seven and its just gone quarter past eight.
JESSICA: Your watch is wrong.
Martin looks up at the digital clock which shows he is correct. Jessica notices where he is looking and realizes she is in the wrong.
JESSICA: I actually got here early. At about seven. So I thought I'd go to the bar next door and have a drink while I waited.
Jessica approaches Martin, wobbling slightly. He recoils from the smell of alcohol coming from Jessica.
MARTIN: A drink?
JESSICA: Okay, drinks. Is that a problem?
MARTIN : No, no. It's our first date. I don't want to fight. Let's see the film.
They both walk towards where the cinema screens are. Jessica, stumbles, almost falling.
SCENE 2 INT. CINEMA
Jessica and Martin sit in the cinema while a film is screened. Jessica is fast asleep and snoring loudly. People glare at Martin. Sheepishly he slowly stands and exits, before returning, squeezing past Jessica and exiting the other way.
SCENE 3 INT. PUB
In a nearly empty pub are four friends Martin, Justin (late 20s, wears glasses and still has his shirt and tie on from his office), Brian (mid twenties, wearing t-shirt and jeans) and his younger sister Kelly (dressed sensibly in an effort to show she is smarter than her sibling).
BRIAN: And you just left her there?
MARTIN: What was I supposed to do Brian? She was drooling all over me. And not in a good way.
JUSTIN: Classic. You're nearly thirty, you've never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than a month and now you can't even get past the first date.
KELLY: Oh, like you've done any better, Justin. The longest relationship you've ever been in was with an elf online.
BRIAN: What was her real name again?
JUSTIN: Barry.
Brian laughs and his sister prods him.
KELLY: And what about you?
JUSTIN (QUIETLY): He still sends me e-mails.
BRIAN: Leave off Kelly, I've been with lots of girls. They're all after me.
JUSTIN (QUIETLY): And pictures.
KELLY: Yeah, you're a real catch. We're talking about relationships here. The longest lasting thing you've taken from a date is a STD.
BRIAN: You've never been out with anyone for more than a few months.
KELLY: Because I have standards. I'm not going to spend time with someone ignoring their flaws. I only do that with you because you're my brother.
JUSTIN: I think you're just too picky. No one is ever going to live up to your expectations. In the end everyone lets you down and turns out to be a fat, hairy trucker from Texas.
MARTIN: How did our lives become this? We were young, we were going places. I was going to have my own rock band.
BRIAN: I was going to be a foot baller. Until I broke my ankle.
KELLY: You were never going to be a foot baller. You were terrible. You broke you're ankle by tripping over the ball.
JUSTIN: I was going to be a level 20 mage.
MARTIN: We were going places and now we're here. Every night. All we ever do is sit in the same stupid, dank pub.
BRIAN: Oi! Don't bad mouth the pub. Our dad runs this place.
Martin turns to the bar where MR KENT, the father of Kelly and Brian, serves a customer. Mr Kent is in his fifties and bald.
MARTIN: Sorry Mr Kent.
MR KENT: That's alright Martin.
MARTIN: My point is we've been hanging out here for years and I don't think that's ever going to change. We might as well face it, we're singletons. We're always going to be alone.
The four friends mull over this for a beat, together in their sorrow.
BRIAN: No, you're wrong. We just need the right incentive. What you lot need is a little motivation.
KELLY: What are you talking about?
BRIAN: Think about it. Kelly how did you stop smoking? We had a bet to see who could quit first. Justin, how did you lose all that weight? We had a bet to see who could lose the most fat.
MARTIN: So what are you suggesting? We have a bet to see who can give up being single?
BRIAN: Sure, except the last person left single has to pay the other two a fine.
MARTIN: How much?
BRIAN: £500 each.
JUSTIN: Five hundred? Are you mad?
BRIAN: Come on, it has to be pricey to be an incentive. It'd be tough but we all could just about rustle up that cash if we had to, but why are you worried? You're up to the challenge aren't you? Two thirds of us will end up £500 richer and in a relationship. What's the downside?
KELLY: I want in as well.
BRIAN: No, no way. I don't want to encourage you to go out with blokes. You're fine being single.
KELLY: Oh please, you've got to face facts that I'm a woman. I'm not a little girl who needs my family to protect me.
MR KENT: Brian, let your sister in on your little bet.
KELLY: Thanks dad.
MR KENT: That's alright Kel.
MARTIN: I say we let her. It increases the odds for the rest of us.
BRIAN: Alright but none of you can date her. If I find out either of you have been with my her, I'll kill you. And I don't mean I'll be really angry but eventually get over it. I mean, slap on the cuffs, lock me away, kill you.
Martin and Kelly exchange guilty looks, remembering a past liaison.
JUSTIN: Agreed. So what are the terms? It can't count if you just get laid. We all know what happened last time we made that bet.
SCENE 4 EXT. RED LIGHT STREET CORNER
A lady of the night, her face obscured from the camera, walks under the street lights of a seedy part of town. Brian's car pulls up and window winds down, Martin is in the passenger seat.
BRIAN: Alright love? Are you doing any two for one specials?
The lady of the night approaches the car and bends down to look through the window, revealing that it's Kelly. Both Kelly and Brian are shocked to see each other.
MARTIN: How much will this get me?
Martin holds up a ten pound note. Without looking Brian brings his fist back, striking Martin in the face.
SCENE 5 INT.PUB
Justin eyes bulge as he takes in what his friends have just told him. Kelly is distinctly embarrassed.
KELLY: I told you, I was going to a fancy dress party.
BRIAN: Whatever.
JUSTIN: How about it only counts if the relationship last 12 months? Once someone does that they're safe.
MARTIN: Agreed.
KELLY: This will be the easiest money I've ever made.
MARTIN: Well, the easiest since....
Brian grabs Martin.
BRIAN: She was going to a fancy dress party.
SCENE 6 INT.OFFICE
Justin stands with his fellow office workers. They listen to their boss, Dave, while he lectures them.
DAVE:Now you all know that I want us to work as a team. That is why I took us on that team building exercise in the woods last month.
OFFICE WORKER: Have they found Nathan yet?
DAVE: No, but don't worry, he'll turn up. What I wanted to say is that we've got be team. More than that, we've got to be a family. And like a family there can't be any funny business going on.
The workers start looking at each other suspiciously.
DAVE: It causes distractions, work output drops, mistakes are made! From now on if I catch anyone involved with anyone else within this department they will be fired. Am I understood?
OFFICE WORKERS+JUSTIN: Yes Sir!
DAVE: Good. Now on an unrelated note let me introduce a new member to our team, Bethan Anderson.
Dave steps aside to reveal a gorgeous woman, Bethan. Justin is in awe as she steps forward in slow motion, the wind blowing through her hair while music plays.
DAVE: Greg, turn that fan off!
Office worker turns off the office fan that was pointed at Bethan.
DAVE: Right, Justin, I want you to show Bethan how we do things round here. Give her a real hands on experience.
Dave leaves and the office workers go back to their desks. Justin extends a hand to Bethan. She approaches smiling. There is 'ping' sound as the button of her blouse flies off, revealing cleavage. The button strikes Jason with such force he is knocked to the floor.
BETHAN: Sorry about that. That's always happening to me.
Justin gets up off the floor, a crack in his glasses from where the button struck him.
JUSTIN: Don't worry about it.
Justin sits at his computer in preparation to show Bethan the systems. She sits in the chair next to him.
BETHAN: Oh, but I've got to make it up to you.
Justin's computer beeps as it receives a new email. The email consists of big flashing letters saying 'NO OFFICE RELATIONSHIPS!'
Justin grimaces and after a beat hits delete.
JUSTIN: Would you like to go for a walk in the park later?
SCENE 7 EXT. STREET
Kelly and Brian walk along a street. Kelly is dressed for university, complete
with a big bag for her books. Brian is dressed casually as usual.
KELLY: Don't forget you said you'd go to the book store and pick me up what I need for my final research project. I really want to impress Professor Luton.
BRIAN: Professor Luton, professor Luton. The way you go on about him anyone would think you fancy him.
Kelly stays silent and Brian picks up on this.
BRIAN: You do! You have a thing for teacher.
KELLY: Professor Luton is an intelligent, mature gentleman.
BRIAN: Mature meaning old. Didn't you say he was dad's age?
KELLY: So?
BRIAN: So it'd be like going out with dad. I know you don't remember much about mum but I do and I know she'd be unhappy with you going out with men like dad.
KELLY: She wouldn't want me to go out with a man like dad? She didn't set a very good example for me, did she?
BRIAN: Mum accidentally electrocuted herself by taking a radio into the bath tub. She really wasn't one for setting examples.
KELLY: Any way, it's not like anything can happen with Professor Luton. Lecturers are forbidden from dating students. So I can only dream of Professor Luton sweeping me up in his strong arms, holding me so close I can feel his heart beating against my...
BRIAN: Look, I'll get your stupid books. Just shut up.
KELLY: Thanks, now you do remember what a book is, don't you? I know its been a while since you read one.
BRIAN: Yeah, I think I'll manage. They still have pictures in them right?
Reaching the university Kelly joins the other student entering the building while Brian walks off.
SCENE 8 INT.STORE
Martin waits in line to buy some DVDs. As he waits he notices Jessica in the store. Worried that she will see him Martin keeps watching her as the line shuffles forward. There are several shop staff members behind the tills.
The only man is TILL OPERATOR, who has distinctive colored hair and facial jewelry.
TILL OPERATOR: Next.
Martin moves forward and hands over the DVDs, still watching Jessica.
TILL OPERATOR: If you can just enter your number.
Martin looks away to enter the number, looking down at the chip and pin keypad and not at the till operator. The till operator bags up the DVDs and gives Martin the receipt. Hurriedly Martin pockets the receipt, grabs the bag and dashes towards the door, running straight into Jessica.
JESSICA: You!
MARTIN: Jessica! How was the film?
JESSICA: You thief!
MARTIN: What?
JESSICA: I woke up alone in the cinema and my purse was gone.
MARTIN: That wasn't me.
JESSICA: Well, who was it?
MARTIN: Look, I left you in a dark, crowded cinema where you were vulnerable and exposed. Anyone could have robbed you.
JESSICA: You left me?
MARTIN: Really, I'm the injured party here. I missed the rest of the movie. I'm sorry I have to go.
By the tills the Till Operator leaves his post, another man ,TILL OPERATOR 2, takes his place.
TILL OPERATOR: I'm just going on my break.
Martin pushes past Jessica and rushes to the door, past a burly SECURITY GUARD. The alarms go off as he passes through.
SECURITY GUARD: If you could just stop there. Can I see your receipt.
MARTIN: Sure, it's right here.
Martin searches through his pockets while the Security guard watches him closely. Nearby Jessica smirks. Unable to find the receipt Martin looks in the bag, taking the DVDs out. He still isn't able to find the receipt.
MARTIN: I'm sure it was here. Look, lets go back to the counter. I've only just brought it.
SECURITY GUARD: Alright, who served you?
They walk back to the counters and now stand in front of the queues of people.
MARTIN: I don't know. It was a man. It must have been him.
Martin points at Till Operator 2.
SECURITY GUARD: Did you serve this man?
TILL OPERATOR 2: No, I've never seen him before in my life.
The Security Guard grabs Martin by his arm.
SECURITY GUARD: I think you should come with me.
MARTIN: No, this is a mistake. Jessica, tell him.
JESSICA: Oh he's a thief alright.
The Security Guard drags Martin away who continues to protest his innocence. Jessica smiles triumphantly.
SCENE 8 INT. UNIVERSITY ROOM
Students listen to PROFESSOR LUTON, a man in his fifties, handsome with a full head of hair. He slowly closes his text book as he brings the lecturer to a close.
PROFESSOR LUTON: And that brings the lesson for today to a close. Now don't forget I expect your research papers on my desk in by the 12th. Don't forget.
The students collect their things as they go. Professor Luton sits down behind his desk and picks up a cup of tea. He stops Kelly as she passes his desk.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Ms. Kent, I'd like to see you for a moment.
Kelly stops and the last student closes the door behind them.
KELLY: Yes Professor Luton?
Professor Luton turns towards Kelly and she sees that written on his cup are the words 'WORLD'S BEST DAD'.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Yes. I've been very impressed with your work over the term. I'd almost say you'd could teach me a thing or two.
Kelly laughs nervously.
KELLY: Thank you Professor Luton.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Please, call me Carl.
Kelly winces.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Is there a problem?
KELLY: No, it's just that's my dad's name.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Well I'm not your father Kel.
KELLY: No, no you're not.
PROFESSOR LUTON: I think you have a bright future ahead of you. I'd like to help but if the students learnt I was giving you extra attention they'd get upset, even jealous.
KELLY: We could always meet outside of the university. Some secluded location where you could help me with my studies.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Exactly, I knew you were a bright girl. Listen, I know a quiet little bar, The Grape Vine. Have you heard of it?
KELLY: Yes.
PROFESSOR LUTON: Great, I'll see you tonight. I've a feeling you're going to learn a lot.
Kelly sighs happily.
SCENE 9 INT.BOOKSTORE
In a large bookstore Brian pays for a collection of academic textbooks. He hands his card to the attractive woman behind the till, SANDRA. She looks at the name on the card with interest.
SANDRA: Brian Kent?
BRIAN: Yeah?
SANDRA: The Brian Kent?
BRIAN: Er, yeah.
SANDRA: Oh my god, my name is Sandra. I love your books. You really speak to me.
BRIAN: I do?
Sandra picks up a book 'BRIAN KENT'S, WISDOM OF THE FEMININE'.
SANDRA: You're so handsome. All this time I've had no idea what you looked like. Why don't you ever have your photograph taken?
BRIAN: Well I'm shy.
SANDRA: I hope you don't think I'm being too forward but I'm going on break at 1 O'clock and I'd love to talk to you about your book 'The Philosophy of Love'. That's my favorite.
BRIAN: I'd like that.
SANDRA: Oh my god! I can't wait to tell my friends about this.
Brian walks away with the books bemused. He takes out his mobile phone and calls Martin.
SCENE 10 EXT.STREET
Martin walks along the street, annoyed. His mobile rings and he answers it.
MARTIN: Hello?
SCENE 11 INT.BOOKSTORE
BRIAN: Martin? It's Brian. Look you've got to do me a favour. I'm in the book store and there's a woman here that thinks I'm some big writer. We're going to met up afterwards.
SCENE 12 EXT.STREET
MARTIN: I'm happy for you but I've just spent the last hour trying to prove I'm not a shop lifter.
SCENE 13 INT.BOOKSTORE
BRIAN: What? Look, I need to get a copy of 'The Philosophy of Love' by Brian Kent. I've go to read up on it before I see her later.
SCENE 14 EXT.STREET
MARTIN
Aren't you already in a bookshop? Can't you get it? Are you that lazy?
SCENE 15 INT.BOOKSTORE
BRIAN: No, this woman is at the till. I can't let her see my buying what's supposed to be my own book. You've got to get it for me.
SCENE 16 EXT.STREET
Martin comes to a stop outside a second hand book shop. The elderly SHOP KEEPER dozes at a counter near the door. The logo of the bookshop is a caricature of the owner.
MARTIN: Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Martin enters the bookshop.
SCENE 17 INT.SECOND HAND BOOKSTORE
MARTIN: Hello, do you have a book by...
Martin notices the shop keeper is asleep and, not wanting to wake him, make his way to the rear of the shop. He steps behind a stack of shelves, obscuring him from the front of the shop.
The old man's watch alarm wakes him up. Stretching he looks at the time.
SHOP OWNER: Time for lunch.
The shop owner gets up and turns the shop sign to closed before leaving the shop.
SCENE 18 EXT.STREET
The shop owner locks the door and leaves.
SCENE 19 INT.SECOND HAND BOOKSTORE
Martin finds the book he needs and returns to the counter. He is surprised to find himself alone in the shop.
MARTIN: Hello?
Martin goes to the door and finds it is locked. Through the window he sees a passerby stop and look at him. She notices that the door sign says 'closed' and Martin doesn't look like the picture of the owner in the shop logo.
The woman hurriedly walks down the street. Martin presses his face against the window to watch her go.
SCENE 20 EXT.STREET
The woman stops a policeman and points back towards the shop.
SCENE 21 INT.SECOND HAND BOOKSTORE
Panicking Martin dives on the floor and tries to hide. His mobile rings and he turns it off. At the window the police man peers in but is unable to see Martin.
SCENE 22 EXT. PARK
Justin and Bethan walk through a park, hand in hand.
JUSTIN: I can't believe you agreed to go out with me.
BETHAN: Why not? You're smart, handsome, charming.
JUSTIN: I am?
BETHAN: Of course.
They walk on to a bridge over a river. Coming to a stop Bethan leans with her back to the railings.
BETHAN: I'm glad to be out to be honest. Normally I'm inside playing online games, leveling up my Light Mage and grinding for gold. You must think I'm such a nerd.
JUSTIN: Not at all. I think you're the most perfect person I've ever met.
Justin and Bethan lean in to kiss but Justin stops and pulls back.
JUSTIN: Your real name isn't Barry is it?
Bethan laughs, puzzled by the question.
BETHAN: No. Is that a problem?
JUSTIN: Not for me.
Justin moves to kiss Bethan but just as they're about to kiss Justin spots his boss, Dave. Dave has yet to notice Justin and Bethan.
Thinking quickly Justin pushes Bethan off the bridge, a loud splash coming from below as she plummets into the water. Justin leans against the railings, casually.
JUSTIN: Mr Stocker, nice day, isn't?
DAVE: Hello Justin, see you back at the office.
Justin watches Dave walk by before looking over the bridge. In the water below Bethan desperately tries to swim to the side. She glares up at Justin.
JUSTIN: Sorry!
SCENE 23 EXT.PARK
Nearby Brian waits in the park. He keeps trying his mobile phone in frustration.
BRIAN: Come on Martin, answer your phone.
Sandra approaches, she waves to Brian. He puts away the phone.
SANDRA: Hi! I'm glad you agreed to meet me. This is such an honour.
BRIAN: You're right. It's not often you get to met an award winning author.
SANDRA: Oh, I didn't know you'd won any awards.
BRIAN: And why would you?
SANDRA: I've got so many questions for you. So much I need you to explain to me about your writing.
They begin walking. Brian is desperate to distract Sandra.
BRIAN: Hey, look at that!
Bethan walks by, soaking wet.
SANDRA: Wow! I wonder what happened.
Justin runs by, chasing after Bethan
JUSTIN: I'm sorry, I didn't want to lose my job.
Justin stops when he notices Brian.
JUSTIN: Hey! Hi, Brian.
Brian turns Sandra away from Justin and they both start walking away.
JUSTIN: Hey Brian, Brian Kent. It's me, Justin.
BRIAN: Another fan. Come on, we don't want to be disturbed.
SANDRA: How does he know its you. No one knows what you look like.
BRIAN: He probably just recognized my name.
A dog runs up to Brian. He recoils in horror.
BRIAN: Get out of here.
Sandra kneels down and pets the dog.
SANDRA: Awww! Isn't he cute. Don't you like animals?
BRIAN: Sure I do, I love them.
They continue walking.
SANDRA: So I wanted to talk about you views on long term relationships. What was it you said in 'Philosophy of Love'?
BRIAN: Oh, that was such a long time ago.
SANDRA: It was your last book.
BRIAN: Was it? Of course it was. You know I really do like animals. A lot.
SANDRA: Really?
BRIAN: Sure, yeah, I could talk about them for hours. They're great companions aren't they.
SANDRA: Right, but in your book you said..
BRIAN: You know what my favorite animal is? I don't have one. I think they're all great. They don't need books. They're happy the way they are. Don't you think?
Brian continues to talk about animals as Sandra listens bemused.
SCENE 24 EXT.STREET
Kelly walks along the street. She gets to a street corner and sees Professor Luton. She smiles seductively as she approaches. As she turns the corner she is horrified to see he is talking to her father. Both men are dressed exactly alike.
KELLY: Dad! Carl!
PROFESSOR LUTON & MR KENT
Hello, love
Both men realize that each know Kelly.
MR KENT: You've met my Kelly?
PROFESSOR LUTON: Of course, Kelly Kent. I should have realized she was your daughter. She's one of my students.
KELLY: How do you know each other?
MR KENT: We grew up in the same street. We haven't seen each other for years but we used to be....
PROFESSOR LUTON & MR KENT: Inseparable.
Both men laugh and clap their hands simultaneously. Kelly is disturbed by this.
PROFESSOR LUTON: We were always doing that. We did everything together including finishing each others sentences.
MR KENT: The neighbors used to say it was like we were the same...
PROFESSOR LUTON & MR KENT: Person!
A strong wind whips up, blowing Carl's wig off his head. He is as bald as Mr Kent, increasing the resemblance between the two men. They both laugh at this.
KELLY: I've got to go.
Kelly runs off.
SCENE 25 INT.SECOND HAND BOOKSTORE
Martin is still hiding at the rear of the shop. The shop owner returns, unlocking the door and entering. Martin hears the noise and emerges, relieved.
MARTIN: Hi, I'm glad you're back. I've been stuck in here.
The shop owner jumps, surprised by Martin's sudden appearance. He clutches his chest.
SHOP OWNER: Wha..where did?
The shop owner collapses to the floor, falling against the door and cracking the glass before he hits the floor. Panicking Martin runs to his side.
MARTIN: Are you alright?
SHOP OWNER: My heart...
Martin turns his mobile phone back on and starts dialing.
MARTIN: Hello, we need an ambulance at the bookshop on Claverton Road. I think the owner is having a heart attack. Thank you.
Martin helps the old man get comfortable on the floor as the owner continues to groan.
MARTIN: The ambulance is on its way. Is there anyone you want me to contact?
SHOP OWNER: My daughters number...in my wallet.
Martin opens the shop owners jacket and takes out his wallet. He starts flicking through and finds a photo. He takes it out to see it shows the shop owner standing with Jessica.
MARTIN: Jessica?
The door opens and Jessica enters. She is shocked to see her grandfather lying on the floor.
JESSICA: Grandfather?!
Jessica then sees Martin, standing over him, wallet in hand.
JESSICA: Martin?
MARTIN: This isn't what it looks like.
JESSICA: Thief!
Martin gets up and runs out the door.
SCENE 26 EXT.STREET
Martin runs, pursued by the police officer from earlier.
SCENE 27 INT.OFFICE
Justin approaches a supply closet and after making sure no one is looking quickly enters.
SCENE 28 INT.OFFICE SUPPLY CLOSET
Inside Bethan is already waiting for him. They embrace passionately, peppering each other with kisses.
JUSTIN: I'm sorry about before.
BETHAN: That's alright. I understand you were worried about getting caught.
JUSTIN: And you don't mind?
BETHAN: Knowing that our love is forbidden makes you all the more desirable. I love the danger, it gives me such a thrill.
JUSTIN: Yeah, I love danger. Some times I'll drink milk two days past its expiration date or go out without checking the weather forecast.
BETHAN: You animal! Kiss me!
The couple return to their making out, pulling at each others clothes. They are interrupted when Dave opens the door.
DAVE: Justin! Bethan! What is the meaning of this?
There is a beat as Justin thinks of what he is going to say.
JUSTIN: Rape!
BETHAN: What?
JUSTN: She was raping me. I just came in here and she attacked me.
BETHAN: But..but...but..
JUSTIN: That's all she has been saying. She just loves my butt.
Justin turns to show his behind to Dave, wiggling it side to side for good measure.
DAVE: Well one could hardly blame her, but I've made my stance quite clear on this. Bethan, you're fired. I think you should leave now before the police arrive.
Dave leaves. Justin smiles apologetically at a furious Bethan.
JUSTIN: Look on the bright side, since we're not working together we can keep going out.
Bethan punches Justin knocking him out.
SCENE 29 EXT.STREET
Brian and Kelly walk along the street together.
BRIAN: So you've no longer got the hots for Professor Luton?
KELLY: No, that chapter has closed. I don't think I could ever be with him without picturing dad.
BRIAN: Yeah, its terrible when a family member pops into your head when you're trying to get intimate.
KELLY: Has that ever happened to you?
Brian thinks for a moment.
SCENE 30 EXT. RED LIGHT STREET CORNER
In flashback we see Kelly dressed as a hooker, leaning to look into Brian's car.
SCENE 31 EXT. STREET
Brian shakes his head, clearing it of the image.
BRIAN: No. It look like you're going to have to try a little harder if you want to win this bet. Its only the first day and I'm going on my second date with Sandra, I'm going to pick her up now.
KELLY: She really doesn't know you're not the man who wrote all those books?
BRIAN: No, I didn't even need that book I asked Martin to get. I just used my natural charm to distract her.
KELLY
She must be very easily distracted.
BRIAN: Yeah, funny. You won't be laughing when you have to give me £500.
Arriving at the bookstore Brian enters. Kelly is distracted by a news vendor.
NEW VENDOR: Evening edition! Famous author investigated!
SCENE 32 INT.BOOKSTORE
Brian swaggers in, Sandra is behind the counter and looks very upset.
BRIAN: Hi! Ready to go out on the town with your favorite author?
SANDRA: Get out of here! You monster! I should have realized when you kept going on about animals. I hope they lock you up.
BRIAN: What are you talking about?
Sandra throws books at Brian in a rage.
SANDRA: Get out!
Brian runs out of the shop.
SCENE 33 EXT.STREET
Brian runs up to Kelly who is reading a newspaper.
BRIAN: What was her problem?
Kelly turns the paper so Brian can read the headline. 'FAMOUS AUTHOR BRIAN KENT, INVESTIGATED OVER CLAIMS OF BESTIALITY.'
KELLY: Still want to take credit for his achievements?
BRIAN: Just great. I wonder if the others are having any better luck.
Justin approaches with a black eye and whistle around his neck.
JUSTIN: Hey guys! Guess what? Work gave me a rape whistle.
Martin runs by pursued by the police and Jessica
MARTIN: I'm not a thief! I'm not a thief!
Justin, Brian and Kelly watch Martin as he runs away.
FADE TO BLACK
