Gordon Brown Is sat with Peter Mandleson.
GB : Oh Peter, what the hell is happening? I seem to get buggered at every turn.
PM: You should be so lucky.
GB : Whenever something seems to be going right some bastard always comes along and screws me.
MANDLESON GIVES BROWN A STRANGE LOOK.
PM: Funny that. It's just what Tony used to say.
GB: Umm, yes , well. Anyway look at this (SLAMS NEWSPAPER ON TABLE) bloody celebrity tree huggers!
PM: Your joking? They didn't call me about this one either. I must get on to my agent.
GB: What?
PM: Well I thought when I let on I fancied at crack at the dancing show I'd be inundated with offers. Now I can't even get on to celebrity tree huggers!
GB : Peter it's not a television show.
PM: Oh that's a relief. What are you on about then?
GB : Heathrow expansion. Some crappy celebrities have bought the land that the new runway was going on. Just to screw me again.
PM : You've got to admire their resourcefulness.
GB: It's not that that's bothering me.
PM: What is then?
GB: I tried to buy the land only last week.
PM: And?
GB: The f**king bank refused me the mortgage.
Ends.
Good stuff.