British Comedy Guide

Are you trying

POLICE MAN STOPS A RATHER ORDINARY LOOKING MAN.

POLICEMAN

Excuse me sir do you know why I am stopping you?

MAN

I think I do.

POLICEMAN

You were smoking in a public park and then dropped the cigarette butt, that's two infractions of the Parks act. Are you aware of what this means?

MAN

Are you trying to have sex with me?

POLICEMAN

I beg your pardon?

MAN

You heard me. Are you trying to have sex with me?

POLICEMAN

I am most certainly not, I am merely enforcing the laws of the royal parks.

MAN

You bastards you're all the same. Yeh so I got done for afray at a CND rally in the 80s and I killed a man.

POLICEMAN

You seem to have the wrong end of the stick.

MAN

But I can have the wrong end of a truncheon, eh the spitting end? I didn't mean to kill him it was manslaughter, it was a fight in the pub, I didn't mean to have a knife.

POLICEMAN

I suppose I can look the other way for once sir, ooh is that an illegal hotdog vendor I'd better go and arrest him.

MAN

You do time once and they never let you forget it. Policeman just think they can demand sexual favors off you in the park, there's children here!

POLICEMAN RUNS OFF

MAN NOCHALANTLY LIGHTS UP ANOTHER FAG

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