So That's Why It's Called A No. 2.....

INT. – BARBERS – DAY

BARBER
And the next please.

Customer takes a seat in the barber's chair

BARBER
Hello Sir, how are you?
CUSTOMER
Yeah not bad thanks and yourself?

BARBER
Oh you know, mustn't grumble.........so what would you like done then?

CUSTOMER
Right well I'd like it shampooed first please and then can you leave a bald bit on the top, a load of uneven strands everywhere else, cut the sides to two different lengths and finally leave a spikey tuft sticking up at the back!

BARBER
(startled)
I'm sorry Sir, I could't possibly do that.

CUSTOMER
(deadpan)
I don't see why not, you did it last time!

.....because it looks shit!

Boom boom!

I think I've heard this somewhere before.

Are you a hairdresser David?

I liked hun. Made me giggle.
I just lurrrve that baby. Can i keep him.

I've heard it too.

Yeah it's an old joke and I was using it as a form of therapy, I just got my hair cut on Saturday and he made a right mess of it and yet I still acted as if everything was OK which is so bloody annoying, although he must have seen from my face that I wasn't best pleased.

When he asked if I wanted anything on it, gel, wax or whatever, I really should have said...

"Yeah, put a pair of knickers on it as you've cut it like a c..." OK, never mind!

Er, that's an old one too by the way.

P.S. Yeah the baby is realy cute eh? LOL

Ima, you're too good to just convert old pub jokes into sketches. I wouldn't waste your time. And it's clogging up an already busy forum with non-original work.

Despite this, it is overwritten. All the chat leading up to the gag is fluff. Seeing the guy sat in the barber's chair tells you everything we need to know to place the sketch in context. I'd start it here:

BARBER
So what would you like done then?

By doing this, you cut the sketch in half, you lose nothing funny, and the reader / viewer still makes sense of the set-up. No one cares about the good mornings and nice days, it slows down the sketch and everyone will take them as granted as happening prior to the man sitting in the chair.

But seriously, don't waste your time posting old jokes. Someone somewhere will have heard it. Sometimes it happens by accident, but it shouldn't be with the writer's knowledge.

I would have prefered the

BARBER
You need your hair cut badly

CUSTOMER
Well, go ahead -- you cut it badly last time...

side of it.

Dan

It wasn't so much the old joke that I was bothered about, it was the play on words about a number 2 meaning a type of cut and also a euphemism for a shit because he had given me a shit haircut.

I was a bit peeved about it and even more so with myself that I went through the motions (I wasn't even trying on that corny pun) of that typically British thing of carrying on as if I wasn't.

Isn't a shit haircut a bob?

I preferred this punchline.

"Yeah, put a pair of knickers on it as you've cut it like a c..." OK, never mind!