VERSION 2
Gordon Brown and Ed Milliband are sat down having a policy meeting.
GB : Environmental policy Eddie! Key part of Labour's manifesto in the next election.
EM: A manifesto? We've never bothered before Gordon.
GB: Of course we have, we stole it from Tory central office. Come on we need something catchy and different.
EM : What about this coffee powered car thing? Green, cheap and smells good to boot!
GB : We could fill up at Starbucks, saving the high street at the same time.
EM: We could extend the idea, alcohol is also a great fuel.
GB : It works well for Charles Kennedy.
EM : We could generate electricity by burning all that bullshit Alistair Darling comes out with.
GB : The power plants wouldn't be able to cope with the workload.
EM: What about completely downsize our military capability, just think of the carbon footprint our armed services leave behind.
GB: No wonder the Taliban always find them.
EM : The money we could save would be unbelievable.
GB: Well nobody believes our grip on the economy at the moment anyway.
EM: Tidal power could be the answer to our Energy issues.
GB: Well I do need something to turn the tide in the polls.
EM: We're an island race, the potential could be limitless.
GB: Who's the best man for this environmental challenge? Al Gore?
EM Too American
GB: David Bellamy?
EM: Too old.
GB: The Prince of Wales?
EM: Too royal. Come on Gordon, this needs to be a man who can get things done, a man who might actually make a proper fist of the job.
PAUSE.
GB: I've got it. Doris!
DORIS ENTERS.
GB : Get me David Cameron on the phone.