Gordon Brown and Ed Milliband are sat down having a policy meeting.
GB : Environmental policy Eddie! Key part of Labour's manifesto in the next election.
EM: A manifesto? We've never bothered before Gordon.
GB: Of course we have, we stole it from Tory central office. Come on we need something catchy and different.
EM : What about this coffee powered car thing? Green, cheap and smells good to boot!
GB : We could fill up at Starbucks, saving the high street at the same time.
EM: We could extend the idea, alcohol is also a great fuel.
GB : It works well for Charles Kennedy.
EM : We could generate electricity by burning all that bullshit Cameron comes out with.
GB : The power plants wouldn't be able to cope with the workload.
EM: What about completely downsizing our military capability? Just think of the carbon footprint our armed services leave behind.
GB: No wonder the Taliban always find them.
EM : The whole country could be developed into a green, peaceful haven.
GB: This is a wonderful idea. We just need the right man for the job.
EM: Well, he needs to be a highly respected figure.
GB: Someone with unrivalled environmental credentials.
EM: To dismantle the military, he needs a passion for peace.
GB: Above all these are complicated issues. He must be a true intellect.
PAUSE.
GB: I know just the man. And as luck would have it he's coming to the end of his assignment. Doris!
Doris Enters.
GB: Get me George Bush on the phone.
Ends.