Fudget.

This is a little rough, any ideas?

DAVID CAMERON IS TALKING TO PAUL DACRE, RICHARD LITTLE JOHN AND REBECCA WADE.

DAVID

Paul Dacre and Rebecca Wade as the editors of the two most evil and popular tabloids I need your advice on how to plan a popular pretend budget, despite having no more idea than Gordon Brown.

REBECCA

The sexy sore away Sun will gladly help the conservative fudget.

DAVID

Paul why have you brought that vile rodent Littlejohn? He smiles like a pedophile watching Grangehill.

LITTLEJOHN (SOUNDING LIKE AN ESTUARY ENGLISH GOLLUM)

Master Dacre's voice is so right wing and evil it can kill all who hear it.

DAVID

Oh that's just silly.

PAUL DACRE SPEAKS IT IS AN UNHOLY METALLIC SCREECH LIKE THE DOORS OF HELL BEING FORCED OPEN BIRDS FALL DEAD FROM THE SKY, RIVERS FREEZE.

THE OTHER 3 SCREAM.

DAVID

Enough, enough. So what do we tax and what don't we tax?

REBECCA

Sexy Sun readers love great British boobs. So no tax on boob jobs tax rebates for 36 Double Gs and a 200% tax on bras and blouses. You'll rate the Conservative state when you want to masturbate!

DAVID

Intriguing, Paul I mean Richard.

PAUL CAN BE HEARD TO WRITE IN WHAT MAY WELL BE THE BLOOD OF ORPHANS WITH HEPATITUS.

RICHARD

The master writes, all true Brits hate foreigners. We tax foreigners, people who look foreign and anyone who's come back from abroad a bit foreign.

DAVID

A bit foreign?

RICHARD

With an unEnglish liking for garlic, pubic hair and democracy.

DAVID

Excelent, tax all foreigners except the royal family.

REBECCA

Britain number one the Sun says tax the foreign scum.

DAVID

I wander if Gordon's having as much fun.

SCENE 2

GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO JANET STREET POWER.

JANET

So as the editor of the Independent I say cut the tax on muesli, lesbianism and being smug.

GORDON

There's no tax on smugness and lesbianism. And we can't tax people for insulting Dolphins or watching Top Gear.

JANET

Fascist!

GORDON

I wish.

Edit 2

Quote: sootyj @ January 9 2009, 4:58 PM GMT

This is a little rough, any ideas?

DAVID CAMERON IS TALKING TO PAUL DACRE AND REBECCA WADE.

DAVID

Paul Dacre and Rebecca Wade your country need you. By your country I mean me and by need I mean I've run out of daft tax cutting ideas and I want to steal some of yours.

REBECCA

The sexy sore away Sun will gladly help the conservative fudget.

PAUL

The Daily Mail aupports you Dave; we believed in Moseley, Hitler and Herod and we believe in you.

REBECCA

Sexy Sun readers love great British boobs. So no tax on boob jobs tax rebates for 36 Double Gs and a 200% tax on bras and blouses. You'll rate the Conservative state when you want to masturbate!

DAVID

Intriguing, Paul

PAUL

All true Brits hate foreigners. We tax foreigners, people who look foreign and anyone who's come back from abroad a bit foreign.

DAVID

A bit foreign?

RICHARD

With an unEnglish liking for garlic, pubic hair and democracy.

DAVID

Excelent, tax all foreigners except the royal family.

REBECCA

Britain number one the Sun says tax the foreign scum.

DAVID

Now what about hoodies every ones scared of them, but how do we tax them?

PAUL

We tax them for wearing hoods, saying "innit," and we give the police to make on the spot searches.

DAVID

For knives?

PAUL

For what ever they've stolen, I suggest a 40% mugging tax.

REBECCA

Don't send them away make the bastards pay.

DAVID

This is fabulous now I was thinking about charging Iraq for all those bombs Tony squandered on them.

PAUL

This is fun, I bet Gordon isn't having half the fun we are.

SCENE 2

GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO JANET STREET POWER.

Janet we can't tax people for insulting Dolphins or watching Top Gear.

JANET

Fascist!

GORDON

I wish.

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