SKETCH 3
EXT. DAY. A SMALL BOAT ON THE OCEAN
PRESENTER: We're here off the coast of South Africa in search of the Great White shark. This is their major hunting ground, where they massacre seals in a primeval orgy of blood and violence.
CUT TO STOCK SHOT OF A GREAT WHITE
PRESENTER (CONT): Many wildlife film-makers have sought the Great White here in order to understand their habits and catalogue their behaviours.
CAMERAMAN: Hansie, I think some of my wounds from the lion attack are still oozing, I'm not sure I should get in the water.
PRESENTER: Many presenters have visited these great beasts of the deep in the typical shark cages. These people are pussies. Not only will I and my cameraman …
THE PRESENTER LOOKS MEANINGFULLY AT THE MAN BEHIND THE CAMERA
PRESENTER (CONT)…Enter the water without a cage, but I have had a special suit made in order to make this a truly extreme encounter.
HE STANDS AND TURNS TO SHOW HIS NAKED BOTTOM STICKING OUT OF A HOLE CUT IN THE WET SUIT.
CAMERAMAN: You're going to show your arse to a Great White? You're f**king barking aren't you Hansie?
THE PRESENTER TURNS AGAIN AND MOVES TOWARDS THE CAMERA.
PRESENTER: Extreme!
HE PUT OUT HIS HAND APPARENTLY PUSHING THE CAMERAMAN OVERBOARD. THE CAMERA FLASHES TO THE SKY AS HE FALLS.
F/X:A SPLASH AS HE HIT THE WATER
CUT: THE CAMERA IS NOW BOBBING AT WATER LEVEL AND SHOWS THAT THE PRESENTER IS ALSO IN THE WATER. IT IS TRAINED ON HIS FACE.
PRESENTER: The sharks are a bit quiet today, so let's make things a bit more interesting. Karl, release the chum from the container. This is their favourite food, they can't resist this.
A BLOODY LIQUID STARTS TO BE THROWN ABOUT.
PRESENTER: Careful Karl! You're getting it all over me.
THE CAMERA SHOWS A LARGE FIN
PRESENTER (CONT): Wow! That's big. Perhaps this is a bit too extreme even for me. Let's get out Karl.
THE CAMERA IS BACK ON THE PRESENTER BUT THE ANGLE INDICATES THE CAMERAMAN IS IN THE BOAT
CAMERAMAN: Oops! I appear to have dropped the ladder overboard.
THE PRESENTER IS SCRABBLING AT THE SIDE OF THE BOAT AND THEN APPEARS TO BE PULLED UNDER.
CAMERAMAN: Where's your tree now Hansie?
THE PRESENTER SUDDENLY APPEARS SCRABBLING AT THE BOAT AGAIN
PRESENTER: (SCREAMING) Karl! You F**ker!
HE DISAPPEARS UNDER THE WATER AGAIN. THE CAMERA GOES BLACK