SKETCH 2
EXT. DAY. SOME GENERIC AFRICAN GRASSLAND.
PRESENTER: (WHISPERING) We're here in the Masai Mara tracking down a pride of lions reported to be the most vicious in all of Africa, and reputed to be responsible for the deaths of at least 5 humans over the past 6 months.
CUT TO STOCK SHOT OF LIONS
PRESENTER (CONT): At the end of the dry season, they are hungry and thirsty and at their most dangerous.
CAMERAMAN: (ALSO WHISPERING) Hansie, I think they are trying to get behind us. Let's get back to the LandRover.
PRESENTER: Karl, LandRovers are for pussies like Bill Oddie and Simon King. Autumnwatch my arse! I sent the driver back so you couldn't wimp out Karl.
THE PRESENTER TURNS AND STARTS MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE GRASS. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM
CAMERAMAN: It's OK for you, you bastard, I still can't run properly after the bloody rhino charge.
CUT TO A SHOT OF THE LIONS BEING LIONS
PRESENTER: We are right by the pride now. You can hear their stomachs rumbling. The antelope that are the normal prey of these lions are far away at the moment, but I have about a kilo of their droppings and a catapult.
THE CAMERA PANS TO SHOW A PILE OF DUNG BY HIS FEET.
PRESENTER (CONT): Let's see how they react.
HE BEGINS TO FIRE HANDFULS THE DUNG INTO THE DISTANCE.
CAMERAMAN: You really are a complete twat aren't you?
PRESENTER: (OVER HIS SHOULDER) Extreme.
F/X:AN ANGRY ROARING AND THE SOUND OF SOMETHING HEAVY CRASHING THROUGH THE
GRASSES. A SCREAM FROM THE CAMERAMAN
CUT TO THE PRESENTER SEEN CLIMBING UP A TREE. THE CAMERA WOBBLES TOWARDS HIM AS THE CAMERAMAN TRIES TO GAIN THE SAFETY OF THE TREE. AS HE REACHES THE BOTTOM THE CAMERA SHOWS HE IS LEAPING UP AND FALLING BACK
CAMERAMAN: Hansie! Help me up you bastard!
PRESENTER: The tree is too small for two of us Karl, use another one.
THE CAMERA WOBBLES AS HE RUNS FOR ANOTHER TREE
F/X:THE ROARING IS VERY CLOSE NOW. A SCREAM FROM THE CAMERAMAN
CAMERAMAN: Hansie! You F**ker!
THE CAMERA FALLS TO THE GROUND AND GOES BLACK