Rob0
Saturday 10th January 2009 4:02am
1,263 posts
Hello,
I've written a few of these to generally decent feedback and have waffled a few thoughts from my attempts below:
Well-known songs best usually, as if it's not familiar people will be too busy working out what it is to enjoy the lyrics. First one I wrote was to a Maximo Park tune and about 1 person here knew it.
Find it helps to sing it and make sure it fits in tempo, syllables, and generally rhyme - and maybe check it's not too tongue-twisting. Plus always trying to keep a rhyme ahead especially when using couplets.
Rhythm and timing of lines very important in telling jokes. For really well-known songs/lines and especially the chorus/title lines should probably stick to the original song's rhymes.
Adding to last point, it's nice to have a theme running through a verse and tie it up with a neat gag at the end.
e.g. from a "Doggy in the White House song" I did about Obama's daughter getting a dog that she won't be allergic to:
Dad's buying a puppy for the White House
It must be a real special breed
The dog must be hy-po-allergenic
Cos if not it will make me sneeze ('achoo!)
Like Griff said, a progression through a story is best, or it feels fragmented.
Also admire those who write a comic song lyrics AND music, but also enjoy the challenge of trying to fit words and gags into the constraints of the existing structure.
Amateur transplants is good - London Underground brilliant, and also liked their medley one part of which is "yellow" by Coldplay
"Look at your skin, look at its off-white hue,
Look at your eyeballs too,
They've gone all yellow
You came to me, you thought you had the flu.
I knew that wasn't true.
You wouldn't be yellow
We took some blood off you
That's just a thing we do
To folks who turn yellow
You're yellow like the desert in damascus is
You're yellow cos your liver has metastases
Do you know you're really f**cked you know
You're really f**ked you know "
Of Weird Al's stuff, did like "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" and "The Saga Begins," which fit the "1st" Star Wars film story:
(To the tune of
A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy
Oh
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
He left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy
We started singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh the Council was impressed of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"
He was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy
And I was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin'
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We were singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"