Christmas ones I sent but didn't sell, I may send them to a Christmas cracker manufacturer:
What happens if you shake a snowglobe too much? You cause snowglobal warming.
Did you hear about the mafia nativity play? Baby Jesus was visited by the three wise guys.
What are tramps dreaming of? A white lightning Christmas.
What phone contract is Santa on? Sleigh as you go.
Why was Santa pondering? He just had some mulled wine.
What's ohm, ohm, ohm? A Santa Mantra.
Why was the taxman after Santa? He hadn't filled in his elf assessment form.
What does a mathematician eat at Christmas? Mince pi.
How do you pull a cracker? Show her your wallet.
Why was the snowman rich? Because he had an 18 carat nose.
What do you call a French snowman? Jacques Frost.
Where do polar bears go online? The icy bear space.
I bought my kid a trademark, I thought he said he wanted logo for Christmas.
What did the cavewoman want for Christmas? Ugg boots.
Did you hear about the man who swapped his wife for a Christmas tree? He thought it was a fir trade.
How do you confuse a snowman? You give him a chilli melt.
Chris Tarrant is on TV on Christmas Eve… Tiswas The Night Before Christmas.
What was Hitler's favourite pantomime? Mother Goosestep.
Rihanna's starring in panto, she's in Cinderella ella ella.
Why is Santa dapper and elegant? Because he's dashing through the snow.
What does Santa have for breakfast? Sledded Wheat.
What do you call a posh Santa? Rather Christmas.
What do you give an ill Father Christmas? Santa-histamines.