British Comedy Guide

The Bankers Party

A little seasonal effort.

The Bankers Party.

Dark Victorian office, man wrapped up in hat and scarf, writing in a large book with candle for light and warmth (Scrooge)

Peter Mandelson knocks on door.

S : Yes

PM WALKS IN

PM : Is this the local branch of Ebenezer's Bank?

S: Yes come in.

PM: I've come for a loan for British Business. Can you help?

S: A loan? Are you quite mad?

PM: Yes. But that's another issue. Can you help?

S: Okay, name.

M: Mandelson.

S: First name.

M: Lord.

S: A loan? Have you been elsewhere?

PM: Only my mate old Geoff Robinson a year or two ago,but that was for something quite different.

S: How much were you thinking of?

PM: I need £700million for Jaguar, £500million for the retail sector and chuck in another billion for small business.

S: That is an awful lot of money. I really don't think we can help you.

PM: Why the hell not?

S: We simply don't have the money.

PM: Don't have the money? We gave you guys a 50billion quid bailout, what's happened to all that.

DOOR OPENS LADY ENTERS HOLDING BOTTLE AND WEARING PARTY HAT. BLOWS ON PARTY WHISTLE.

S: What do you want Mrs Cratchit?

C: ( drunken voice. )Bob's asking where the f**k you are Mr Scrooge. Everyone else is here. It's one f**king hell of party. Where did you get the money?

End.

Lord doesn't sound like loan, you have Scrooge saying 'A loan?' twice. The punchline could be punchier as well but all in all, not too bad.

Share this page