Best Stories Within Songs?

I'll open with the Country song, "Ol' Red"..By Blake Shelton. (I'm not normally a country fan, but occasionally tune in hoping to pick up a good/bad story). If you've never heard the song, it's about a guy locked up in Prison in the south, who escapes because he hatches a cunning plan to bring down a female dog in heat to distract the otherwise inescapable prison bloodhound... what am I prattling on about, here it is:

Well I caught my wife with another man
And it cost me ninety nine
On a prison farm in Georgia
Close to the Florida line
Well I'd been here for two long years
I finally made the warden my friend
And so he sentenced me to a life of ease
Taking care of Ol Red

Now Ol' Red he's the damnedest dog that I've ever seen
Got a nose that can smell a two day trail
He's a four legged tracking machine
You can consider yourself mighty lucky
To get past the gators and the quicksand beds
But all these years that I've been here
Ain't nobody got past Red

And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don't you run
Ol' Red's itchin' to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red'll have you treed before the mornin' comes

Well I paid off the guard and I slipped out a letter
To my cousin up in Tennessee
Oh and he brought down a blue tick hound
She was pretty as she could be
Well they penned her up in the swampland
'Bout a mile just south of the gate
And I'd take Ol' Red for his evening run
I'd just drop him off and wait

And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don't you run
Ol' Red's itchin' to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red'll have you treed before the mornin' comes

Now Ol' Red got real used to seeing
His lady every night
And so I kept him away for three or four days
And waited till the time got right
Well I made my run with the evenin' sun
And I smiled when I heard 'em turn Red out
'Cause I was headed north to Tennessee
And Ol' Red was headed south

And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don't you run
Ol' Red's itchin' to have a little fun
Get my lantern
Get my gun
Red'll have you treed before the mornin' comes

Now there's red haired blue ticks all in the South
Love got me in here and love got me out

Johnny Cash - Boy Named Sue

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to Ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue.'

Well, he must o' thought that is was quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.'

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man that give me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me 'Sue.'

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
>From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' how do you do! Now you gonna die!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down but, to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said good-bye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's that name that helped to make you strong."

He said: 'Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you 'Sue'.'

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I come away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but sue! I still hate that name!

*sk8r boi

God Griff.

Not cross-referencing your sources? Where the hell do you think we are? Wikipedia?!

Quote: Griff @ December 29 2008, 10:13 PM GMT

Blame http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/avril_lavigne/sk8er_boi.html.

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But the title there is correct.

Love this song although the lyrics make no sense whatsoever.

The Monkees - Porpoise Song

My, my the clock in the sky is pounding away
There's so much to say
A face, a voice, an overdub has no choice
And it cannot rejoice

But the porpoise is waiting good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye

Quote: Griff @ December 29 2008, 10:21 PM GMT

So the guy who created the URL knows more about Avril Lavigne than the guy who wrote the content on the web page. WHAT FUCKING DIFFERENCE DOES IT FUCKING MAKE IT'S STILL FUCKING SHIT.

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Hahahahaa I'm just messin' wit'cha!

Griff? Calm down. No one was quite being serious I don't think.

We need a [/sarc] tag.

Ah. See. Aaron, [/sarc] tag please.

Scared again now...

Quote: Griff @ December 29 2008, 10:23 PM GMT

Hmmm I'm guessing that Monkees song is from Head? I don't think I've heard it.

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It is indeed from Head.

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ December 29 2008, 10:26 PM GMT

Scared again now...

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Whhhhhhy?

I like the lyrics to this 'My Perfect Cousin' by The Undertones.

Now, I've got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's pride and joy
His mothers little golden boy

He's gotta degree in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
Cos I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
Cos he flicked the kick
And I didn't know

Oh my perfect cousin ..

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame it's in vain total rejection
He will never be left on the shelf
Cos Kevin he's in love with himself

Oh my perfect cousin..

Quote: PhQnix @ December 29 2008, 10:28 PM GMT

Whhhhhhy?

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Shouty! Even fake shouty! *hides*

Quote: Griff @ December 29 2008, 10:30 PM GMT

Cheers Nils I will check that out later. Am currently grooving to Miles Davis which cannot be interrupted.

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Head should be watched in full, it's mental.