ROUGH EAST END PUB DANNY DYER ENTERS WITH A CAMERA CRYER.
DANNY DYER
'Ello I'm Danny Dyer and this is Britain's hardest geezers, in it's toughest pubs carrying out it's worst street crimes.
PUB BLOKE1
Oh no it's that twat Danny Dyer.
PUB BLOKE2
If only there was some way to shut his f**king mockney gob permanently.
RAY WINSTONE WALKS ON
RAY
Is your local boozer being invaded by public school educated twunts making shite documentaries for Bravo? Then why not try new Bacardi Geezer?
PUB BLOKE1
But how will a girl alcopop silence his enormous malformed gob?
RAY
You don't drink it you twunt.
PUB BLOKE2
Aah you get him to wear it.
RAY HANDS OUT BOTTLES OF BACARDI GEEZER
THE PUB BLOKES BEAT DANNY DYER WITH THE BOTTLES, HE DIES IN A GORY SHOWER OF STICKY POP, BLOOD AND PISS.
DANNY
Ouch help, my liver don't kill me I'll get a job on Sky Arts.
RAY
Bacardi Geezer in new piss 'n pineapple.