A GUY IN A ROUGH PUB IS ORDERING A DRINK HE'S WEARING A FRED PERRY SHIRT CHUNKY JEWLERY ETC, HE'S WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND
BARMAN
What'll it be you slag? Stella or shit vodka?
MAN
Gaw blimey they both taste like shit innit 'ave you gone an alco pop?
BARMAN
No you fackin' poof, now we're going to have to break your knee caps and rape your girlfriend.
GIRLFRIEND
Not again Garry, you're suck a mockney.
RAY WINSTONE WALKS ON.
RAY
Does this 'appen to you? It does? You fackin' mockney pooftah I'll give you a slap.
HITS THE MAN WHO FALLS TO THE GROUND.
RAY
But now from the people who brought you Minge Binge, the alcopop for dykes comes Bacardi Geezer. The alco pop for the twat oo's watched Snatch one to many times.
MAN PICKS HIMSELF UP.
MAN
I'll 'ave a Bacardi Geezer please.
BARMAN
There you go,
SMASHES BOTTLE OVER MAN'S HEAD WHO COLLAPSES IN A HEAP
you c**t.
WOMAN
Ooh Ray Winstone I don't half fancy you and your big red, stubbly head.
RAY
Come on then love I'll take you down the Garrick for a light lunch and Champagne cocktail.
THEY LEAVE TOGETHER.
