Machine Gun

Here's another quickie.

INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.

DAVINA AND DAVE ARE IN BED MAKING LOVE. WE JUST SEE THEIR HEADS AND SHOULDERS .MISSIONARY POSITION.

DAVINA
Oh Dave...Can I ask you a question?

DAVE
Oh yeah baby...What?

DAVINA
Why do they call you machine gun?

DAVE
(Building to a climax)What? Jesus. I’m gonna cum. Yes baby yes baby...I’m... gonna... cum.

DAVE ORGASMS. AS HE, DOES HE MAKES A NOISE LIKE A MACHINE GUN SIMILAR TO KIDS MAKING A MACHINE GUN SOUND AT SCHOOL IN THE PLAY GROUND.

AFTER CALMING DOWN

DAVE
That was fantastic. Sorry, what did you say?

DAVINA
Oh nothing.

Hehe pretty funny. Maybe he could be called Tommy.

P.S. Thought your Dragon's den sketch was very good.

Cheers mate. Tommy...that's much better.

this was funny, i thought he was actually gonna have a machine gun c**k, and we'd see here pinned (with bullets) to the wall, but this was very funny.
well done

Funny. I can imagine his going totally over-the-top at the crucial moment in an over-exaggeration that lasts a good minute or so. He could make a reloading noise afterwards.

Man Stroke Woman again!

Dan

Yeah I liked it but it would have to be really well acted by the bloke with an over the top noise... smiling thinking about it

Or rather how Davina reacts to the scattergun result perhaps? He's used to it but she's not and I think there could be a very satisfactory pay-off.

This reminds me. I always used to wonder if Clarke (Superman) Kent ever made love to Lois Lane cos I'm sure the sperm would have just shot straight through her and come out the other side.

Maybe the neighbours could bang on the wall and Davina sheepishly asks Tommy....

DAVINA
Do you think you could use a silencer next time?

Quote: David Chapman @ March 21, 2007, 1:39 AM

This reminds me. I always used to wonder if Clarke (Superman) Kent ever made love to Lois Lane cos I'm sure the sperm would have just shot straight through her and come out the other side.

View original

I watched a programme a few years ago about what it would be like in the real world if Superman did actually exist. On the up side he'd do all that catching criminals stuff but on the down side, amongst other things, he wouldn't be able to have jiggy-jiggy because his sperm would move as fast as speeding bullit and as for for flying, well, flying faster than twice the speed of sound he'd smash every pane of glass. Just thought I'd share this with you.

Quote: David Chapman @ March 21, 2007, 1:39 AM

This reminds me. I always used to wonder if Clarke (Superman) Kent ever made love to Lois Lane cos I'm sure the sperm would have just shot straight through her and come out the other side.

View original

Reminds?! *Reminds*?!!

Dave, I think you need to spend time thinking about *other* stuff!

Dan

...that's what happens when you get to middle-age. Anyway going back to the gag she could say something like "and put that magazine away".

I liked it...laughed out loud at work cause it reminded me of something i read once about a guy who when he came said "aahhhh Bisto"...and apparently it started as a joke but soon it became habit!

OK I changed my mind here and edited what I originally wrote, through fear of bad taste but it included the words baby and gravy. LOL

Quote: imamazed @ March 21, 2007, 3:24 AM

Maybe the neighbours could bang on the wall and Davina sheepishly asks Tommy....

DAVINA
Do you think you could use a silencer next time?

View original

that's banging brilliant!

both Tommy and the neighbour's banging builds to a crescendo, climax, [beat] then that line. makes a very good sketch.