1
ALISTAIR DARLING IS SPEAKING TO GORDON BROWN.
ALISTAIR
Gordon the papers say you're claiming you saved the world.
GORDON
Yes I saved, every one of us. I'm Flash Gordon Brown!
ALISTAIR
Gordon you're not a superhero, you're a very naughty prime minister.
GORDON
How about a better super identity? As I saved the world by an insignificat reduction in value added tax. I'll become VAT man!
ALISTAIR
Gordon this is serious we're going to have to ramp taxes up, it'll be like robbery.
GORDON
VAT man and Robbin'!
ALISTAIR
Can I be a supervillain?
GORDON
Really which one?
ALISTAIR
Dr we're all Doomed, you stupid numpty.
2
VO
And now for auditions for David Tenants replacement for Hamlet.
WILLIAM SHATNER WALKS ON WITH A SKULL.
WILLIAM
Alas poor Yorick I knew him well, he was a (PAUSE)
Bones what have they done to you? Khaaaannnn!
3
2 UNEMPLOYED TYPES ARE SITTING AROUND TALKING TO EACH OTHER (ERIC AND JEN)
ERIC
I was down the job centre the other day the blighters want me to get a job. Don't they know I'm disabled?
JEN
Oh yeh what's wrong with you again?
ERIC
I've got Prince Charles Heather Mills syndrome.
JEN
Eh?
ERIC
I've got 2 arseholes and neither of them work.
JEN
You want to be careful the governments paying private companies to get people back into work. I think the guy I saw today was in the Mafia.
ERIC
How do you know?
JEN
He made me a job offer I couldn't refuse.