3 PARENTS (JIM, JEN AND LYN) ARE READING THE DAILYMAIL.
LYN
So has little Tasmine had the MMR injection?
JIM
No gosh no, according to the Daily Mail it could make you autistic.
JEN
Or a Guardian reader.
JIM
Or foreign.
LYN
You don't think risking a plague that could kill 1000s is better than avoiding a none existent risk of a condition you don't understand?
JIM
Well the Daily Mail says it isn't.
JEN
What are you a communist or something?
LYN
Just kidding, the Daily Mail's found the cause of childhood obesity and hoody wearing.
JEN
Yes it's food. Have you been kicking little Jemima off food?
LYN
Yes and her behaviour has improved immensley.
JIM
How old is she?
LYN
6 weeks, the Dr says she might die. But he would, he's a foreign.
JEN
Ooh look the Daily Mail's found a new thing that can give you cancer.
LYN
Whistling, looking at cows?
JIM
Communism?
JEN
No reading the Daily Mail.
LYN
But if we can't read the....
JIM
My brain hurts.
THEY ALL DIE FROM CONFUSION