To the tune of THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS;
On the first day of Christmas
I turned on the TV
Could buy Woolworths for one pound only
On the second day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Two thousand got the shove
And Woolworths was just ninety pee.
On the third day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for eighty pee.
On the fourth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for sixty pee.
On the fifth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Five Olympic rings (F/X – Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for fifty pee.
On the sixth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for forty pee.
On the seventh day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for thirty pee
On the eighth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Unemployed were milling
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomwaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for twenty pee
On the ninth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Banks were refinancing
Unemployed were milling
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Still Woolworths was twenty pee
On the tenth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
England's debts were heaping
Banks were refinancing
Unemployed were milling
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could buy Woolworths for just ten pee
On the eleventh day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Robert Peston Sniping
Banks were refinancing
Unemployed were milling
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
Could but Woolworths for a penny
On the twelfth day of Christmas
I saw on the TV
Damian Green was fuming
Banks were refinancing
Unemployed were milling
Employers were still trimming
Darling was doomsaying
Five Olympic rings (Ker-ching)
Recession had occurred
Sterling's down again
Two thousand got the shove
At least Woolworths was going for free.