She's right, you know.
The Island Page 3
Quote: Bohannon @ December 8 2008, 5:27 PM GMTFor me the sketch seems to have almost too many ideas, and they're kind of jostling and conflicting to the detriment of the core idea.
The mention of the stag night at the beginning made me assume it was a continuation of the previous night's pranks and that kind of undermined the rest of the sketch. If you have to give a reason for him being there then maybe you hint at what secret he has uncovered - Sooty;s idea about the steak bakes is pretty good.
Why the white lightening? Are these prisoners really tramps - just another detail that confused the issue for me.
The new ending with the carrier back works better, but I still think you could do with deciding what the main focus of the sketch is and building on that while trimming out all the extraneous stuff.
I do think the idea of prisoners on a traffic island is a good one btw.
Bo.
Cheers for this, Bo. You make some good points that I'll definitely be keeping in mind when I redraft this.
Quote: Princess Pancake @ December 9 2008, 2:07 AM GMTAlso, I thought the almighty quote was: "I'm not a number, I'm a free man!"
You're absolutely right - well spotted.
What if it was a spoof of Taggart instead? Taggart on a traffic island?
Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 9 2008, 1:22 PM GMTWhat if it was a spoof of Taggart instead? Taggart on a traffic island?
Ah, comedy by committee....
Quote: David Bussell @ December 9 2008, 1:24 PM GMTAh, comedy by committee....
I don't think you're taking my ideas seriously.
Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 9 2008, 1:56 PM GMTI don't think you're taking my ideas seriously.
This from the guy who writes sketches about homicidal wedges of cheese.