Sitcom extract

UPDATED

Taken back to the drawing board.

Only got this far and wondered if it was indicative of it being a little "first drafty"

BRIAN:
(PAUSE) What is your favourite food?

JOE:
My favourite food?

BRIAN:
Yeah.

JOE:
I dunno...spaghetti.

Is there a point to the 2nd and 3rd line?

Quote: Pete @ December 4 2008, 12:17 AM GMT

Only got this far and wondered if it was indicative of it being a little "first drafty"

BRIAN:
(PAUSE) What is your favourite food?

JOE:
My favourite food?

BRIAN:
Yeah.

JOE:
I dunno...spaghetti.

Is there a point to the 2nd and 3rd line?

View original

No point at all! Cheers for that. i'll try to make every line 'count'

Yeah, i wrote this scene last night, so it's very much a 1st draft.

Make every WORD count.

Why is:

JOE:
Just because Crystal Palace play in London, it doesn't make them Chelsea.

better than:

JOE:
Crystal Palace play in London, doesn't make them Chelsea.