British Comedy Guide

Captain PC.

Edit 2

2 TERRORIST BASTARDS ARE THREATENING A CROWD OF HOSTAGES.

TERRORIST BASTARD1

Prepare to die hapless hostages.

TERRORIST BASTARD2

For we are despicable, terrorist bastards, mu ha ha!

HOSTAGE1

Will no one save us?

CAPTAIN PC STROLLS ON.

HOSTAGE2

Except him.

CAPTAIN PC

Afternoon Captain Politically Correct here, can I be of assistance.

HOSTAGE1

It's these terrorist bastards they're threatening to kill us.

CAPTAIN

Can I stop you there, terrorist is a value judgement. Nelson Mandela was a terrorist to the South African government, but a freedom fighter to the rest of the world.

TERRORIST BASTARD1

What the blue hell are you talking about? He was opposing an illegitimate government that used terrorist violence.

TERRORIST BASTARD2

And besides we've got terrorist bastards written on our t shirts.

CAPTAIN

I see so it's OK for you to self oppress your selves?

HOSTAGE1

You calling them Uncle Toms.

CAPTAIN

That's so racist, you're the terrorist here.

TERRORIST BASTARD1

That's an opinion you fascist.

CAPTAIN

No, let me explain...

TERRORIST BASTARD2 SHOOTS HIM.

EVERY ONE CHEERS.

POLICE WALK ON, THE POLICE CHIEF SPEAKS.

POLICE CHIEF

Well done despicable terrorist bastards for finally shutting up that annoying tit, the city owes you a debt of gratitude.

CAPTAIN MISUNDERSTOOD RUNS ON AND BEATS UP THE TERRORIST BASTARDS.

CROWD BOO HIM.

CAPTAIN MISUNDERSTOOD.

Oh now what have I done? I ruddy hate you all.

CAPTAIN MISUNDERSTOOD LEAVES IN TEARS.

Beautiful, one of your best Sooty.
"Well despicable terrorist bastards for finally shutting up that annoying tit, the city owes you a debt of gratitude."

Think this should start "Well done"

Damnation I will edit and credit.

SootyJ - excellence, although some of the language was maybe a touch cluttered.

I compact my ideas like nuts in chimpanzee feces.

Share this page