INT. DAY. TV STUDIO.
A MAN IS STANDING FACING A CAMERA.
MAN:
Hello, and welcome to Ivor Idiom. Today, I'll be indulging in a spot of cookery. I have a lovely pot of.. CAMERA ON POT LABELLED 'INSULT'.. Insult and I'll let that simmer for about ten minutes then I'll add some.. CAMERA ON POT LABELLED 'INJURY'..Injury to it.
FADES OUT.
CUT TO EXT. MAN STANDING IN A REMOTE COUNTRY LANE.
MAN:
Hello there, that was a scrumptious hearty meal. Fancy a stroll? Why don't you join me, we'll head down here.. CAMERA ON LANE WITH SIGN SAYING 'MEMORY'.. that's right, down memory lane. Oh look, there's someone wearing a tanktop.
FADES OUT.
CUT TO MAN CROUCHING BEHIND A HEDGE.
MAN: (whispering)
Hello again, the scenery here is beautiful isn't it?.. MAN LOOKS THROUGH BINOCULARS.. What's those two things hanging down? Have a guess, go on, bet you won't get it? I'll tell you, it's the dogger's bollocks.
CAMERA PAN TO ROCKING CAR WITH PEOPLE PEERING IN.