Gording Fing Ramsey

GORDON RAMSEY IS TALKING TO SOME ONE OFF STAGE.

GORDON

F**k, f**k, c**t, f**k, f**k, c**t, with an amyl nitrate dressing.

HIS WIFE WALKS ON.

WIFE

Ok Gordon thanks for telling me what you were upto this weekend. I want a divorce.

GORDON

You f**king can't, with out a wife and kids C**ting Jamie Oliver will get all the f**king Sainsbury adverts.

WIFE

I don't care you've served up meat and 2 vegs to a few to many whores, I want a divorce.

GORDON

You shitting can't big girl. If I'm divorced I'll be just another Scots swearing at people in Kingscross station.

WIFE

Fine I'll stay.

GORDON

For the kids? Our c**ting little darlings?

WIFE

No otherwise I'd have to shag that mockney Oliver, that hideous tongue bleeuurrggh.

Punch line makes no sense...why would she?

In fact...dont get any of it. Oliver already has the adds doesnt he and why would Ramsey be a tramp if divorced?

I think there's funnier material in this story than Ramsey swearing a lot.....maybe the gag is that he swears because he's spent the last 10 years waiting to get caught...talk about stress!

[quote name="sootyj" post="314165" date="November 24 2008, 3:52 PM GMT"]GORDON RAMSEY IS TALKING TO SOME ONE OFF STAGE.

GORDON

F**k, f**k, c**t, f**k, f**k, c**t, with an amyl nitrate dressing.

HIS WIFE WALKS ON.

WIFE

Ok Gordon thanks for telling me what you were upto this weekend.

Is this neater?

Some nice touches but feel it could go so much more...

A few good lines, e.g. the Sainsburys one, but overall didn't like it all that much, and punchline seemed a little stretched to me.

I think this version is better thanks for the feedback, the punchline makes no sense but I can't think of an improvement.

Quote: sootyj @ November 24 2008, 3:52 PM GMT

GORDON RAMSEY IS TALKING TO SOME ONE OFF STAGE.

GORDON

F**k, f**k, c**t, f**k, f**k, c**t, with an amyl nitrate dressing.

HIS WIFE WALKS ON.

WIFE

Ok Gordon thanks for telling me what you were upto this weekend. I want a divorce.

GORDON

You f**king can't, with out a wife and kids C**ting Jamie Oliver will get all the f**king Christmas supermarket adverts.

WIFE

I don't care you've served up meat and 2 vegs to a few to many sluts.

GORDON

You can't. It's my marriage and angelic kids, that diferentiates between me and the angry drunk scots blokes begging at Kingscross station.

WIFE

Fine I'll stay.

GORDON

For the kids? Our c**ting little darlings?

WIFE

No otherwise I'd have to shag that mockney Oliver, that hideous tongue bleeuurrggh.

View original

Least the Sainsbury's link ties it together, so could imagine it working, despite what I think about it being slightly off

Not my best, but I hope it doesn't completley fall apart.