British Comedy Guide

License to pay tax.

A SEAN CONNERY STYLE BOND IS TALKING TO M

M

Britain needs you 007 a supervillain has this country by the Thunderballs.

SEAN

Blofeld, Drax those 2 gays guys?

M

He's known as Brown and he's made the UKs budget for the next century vanish.

SEAN

He's stolen it the devil?

M

No he's a cunning swine he's pissed it up the wall.

SEAN

So you want me to kill him. Brown him off, a Bottle of Brown deadly force, Brown him in the bath....

M

Shut up! Here's got your equipment here.

BOND

What is it armour plated johnnies?

Q

Passport and cheque book.

SEAN

Armour plated passport and a fully automatic cheque book?

M

No we want you to move back to England and pay your 45% tax you chisseling jock.

Q

I won't I'm OO7 license to fill in Spanish citizenship application.

M

That's it we'll just have to write another Bond Book send in the new author.

JORDAN

Allo Jordan ere I'm more f**king popular than Harry Potter. Bond had a big weapon and a huge cock.

Share this page