Funnier than Fiction??

Anyone care to report amusing real life dialogue - either heard of been part of? I have to believe that most people have tuned their ears to listen for good stuff to use in their work... I'll kick it off.

Last week I was at my local supermarket - "Stop and Shop".. .well, I stopped and yes, I shopped. I rolled my trolley to the check out and selected the cute approx 20 year old girl (instead of the greasy haired guy in lane 10). My stuff on the rolling belt, I greeted checkout girl with a few friendly words..

CHECKOUT GIRL:

Wow! You have an accent !!!! That's REALLY cool.

BLOBSTER:
(modestly, and pathetically trying to look younger than his xx years)

A little bit I suppose. I grew up in England - I've been here 19 years.

CHECKOUT GIRL:

England! You know, I've always wanted to visit Paris.

Quote: Blobster @ November 24 2008, 1:57 PM GMT

Anyone care to report amusing real life dialogue - either heard of been part of? I have to believe that most people have tuned their ears to listen for good stuff to use in their work... I'll kick it off.

Last week I was at my local supermarket - "Stop and Shop".. .well, I stopped and yes, I shopped. I rolled my trolley to the check out and selected the cute approx 20 year old girl (instead of the greasy haired guy in lane 10). My stuff on the rolling belt, I greeted checkout girl with a few friendly words..

CHECKOUT GIRL:

Wow! You have an accent !!!! That's REALLY cool.

BLOBSTER:
(modestly, and pathetically trying to look younger than his xx years)

A little bit I suppose. I grew up in England - I've been here 19 years.

CHECKOUT GIRL:

England! You know, I've always wanted to visit Paris.

View original

To be fair, Americans do tend to lump all European countries together. Although if she's cute, it doesn't matter how stupid she is.

I have got the following into two sitcoms, as it was comedy genius at the time. At work, my writing partner and one of the team leaders who had just got married:

WP:
<asks something about whether TL's wife has taken it up the arse yet>

TL:
You're a dirty, filthy little man.

WP:
I think that's one of my most endearing characteristics.

TL:
I rather think it's your single characteristic.

You can't write that!

Dan

Do you work with Bussell and Henman then Dan?

What's that website, overheardintheuk.com, or something?

Quote: Blobster @ November 24 2008, 1:57 PM GMT

CHECKOUT GIRL:

England! You know, I've always wanted to visit Paris.

View original

Isn't that the same as "New York, I've always wanted to visit Washington"

Dumb, but not that bad!

Not quuiiite the same.

But it could have been worse. Just.

Customer: I'm looking for a book.

Me: Well, thats good; we are a book shop after all.

Customer: I cant remember what its called.

Me: Okay...

Customer: And I don't know who wrote it.

Me: Right.

Customer: But its big and its yellow. Do you have it?

I was in a pub in Porlock in Devon about 10 years ago and overheard the following. Three locals are drinking. Another comes in all excited and says:

MAN1: Hey guys! I've got some gossip for you about that guy from Sweden. Let me go for a slash and I'll tell you all about it.

MAN1 EXITS. MEN 2,3 AND 4 LOOK AT EACH OTHER PUZZLED.

MAN2: Do we know anyone from Sweden?

MAN3: Nope.

MAN4: Who is that bloke at the campsite? He's Scandanavian

MAN2: Erik? He died two summers ago. Besides, he was Norwegian.

MAN1 RETURNS.

MAN3: We don't know anyone from Sweden.

THERE'S A PAUSE.

MAN1: Not Sweden, SWINDON!

MEN2,3,4: Ohhhhhhh!

-------

The worst bit was that they all went to the next bar and I never found out what this guy had done.

Not that funny but tickled me at the time.