I'd never swim in the ocean. Because I can not swim. And even if I could swim, I feel that all the vitamins I take render me far too nutritious and tempting for the health conscious shark. You know, like one of those tiny protein bars. Mother sharks would try to get their children to eat me. Like so.....
MOTHER SHARK
There, that one's good for you. Go on, eat.
SHARK CHILD
I'm not hungry. I just had three license plates and an old boot.
MOTHER SHARK
That's junk food. Eat someone nutritious for a change. At least
have an arm or a leg. You're all raspy skin and cartilage. And
you're out swimming all hours of the night.
SHARK CHILD
Aw, Mom, you know if I quit swimming I'll sink to the bottom and
die.
MOTHER SHARK
...And I don't care for that piercing.
SHARK CHILD
I told you it's not my fault. A group of marine biologists stuck
this on me to check my migration habits. Luckily, I have enough
confidence to make it work.
MOTHER SHARK
Oh, you have an answer for everything. Sometimes I think I should
have eaten you instead of your brother.
SHARK CHILD
You know, for a relentless killing machine, you're not very
supportive. Even if I had a calender, and access to a card shop, I
don't think I'd get you anything for Mother's Day.
