POPE BENNY IS KIPPING WITH A BLANKET OVER HIS KNEES, CARDINAL SIN RUNS ON.
CARDINAL
Pope Benny, Pope Benny time to wake up. The Vienna Boy's choir are here and they're sleepy.
POPE
Where? Oh it's you Cardinal Sin what do you want?
CARDINAL
Arch Bishop Connor Cruise of Britain has retires we need to find a replacement.
POPE
That gobshite.
CARDINAL
What did he do?
POPE
Refused to take me cruising in Soho, he really is a conner Cruise O'lying.
CARDINAL
Pope Benny if we can be serious who do you want to replace him? The anti abortion archbishop who hates queers? Or the anti queer archbishop who hates abortions?
POPE
Both liberals eh, don't worry I've chosen a replacement already?
CARDINAL
Who? Not the Baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells?
POPE
Nope the Pope eating git of Number 10, out you come.
TONY BLAIR APPEARS FROM UNDER THE BLANKET, WIPING HIS LIPS.
TONY
It's what you've got to do if you want the top job.
CARDINAL
You'll never be pope.
TONY
I'll settle for Messiah.