British Comedy Guide

Balderdash

INT. DAY. HOME.

THE DOORBELL RINGS AND A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN GOES TO OPEN DOOR.

MAN:
Windows.

WOMAN: (looks round)
Yes, there is.

MAN:
No, window cleaner.

WOMAN:
They're cleaner than the last time I checked.

MAN: Five pounds you owe, ok.

WOMAN:
What's an o o k?

MAN:
Listen missus, gimme the dough.

WOMAN:
Why didn't you say.(shouts to living room) Fred, it's the baker.

FRED COMES TO THE DOOR AND PUTS ON HIS SPECTACLES.

FRED:
Can you tidy the kitchen after you're done?

MAN:
For crying out loud, I clean your bloody windows every fortnight.

WOMAN:
Have you ever blamed your tools? Bad workman, bad workman, swearing like that.

FRED:
Cowboy rogue, preying on the elderly, shame on you.

MAN:
Elderly, you're mid-fifties. Look, just give me my fiver?

WOMAN: (holding up note)
This fiver?

MAN: (exasperated)
At long last.

FRED:
That's not yours, it's mine.

FRED TAKES FIVER AND PUTS IT INTO HIS WALLET.

WOMAN:
You can pay us the rest later.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

ENDS.

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